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His voice broke, but it did notThe sky outside was such a dark gray that Nick knew there was a storh the clouds The la to Alan’s eyelashes and painted the tears running down his face yellow
Nick reached out, but the circle stopped him He let his hand fall; he didn’t knohat he could have done, anyway
Arthur reached up a careless hand, bearing a large, elaborately carved silver ring, and wiped a thu away a tear That was another thing Nick had never been good at, another way Nick had never been hu
Alan turned his face away
“Don’t touch me,” he said in a muted voice
“You were very young when it came Can you tell ht to ask, as if he was a grown-up who had come to save Alan from all this “Can you tell me how it learned to talk?”
Alan glanced over at Nick “Do you want me to say?”
Nick nodded, and Black Arthur laughed
“Of course it does,” he said “What does it know aboutleft That’s what demons are That’s what they do”
Alan turned his face away froain, toward Nick, but he didn’t seem able to look at Nick He looked at the floor
“Olivia ca for the baby Only we couldn’t, of course And when she realized there was nothing we could do, when she—” Alan shook his head, unable to wipe away the tears with his tied hands “Dad and I went to our first Goblin Market I thought it was exciting, I ca, and—”
“And what, Alan?”
Alan’s voice was very low “Olivia was in the bathroo to drown hi, and Olivia was screaht her to get the baby They were both screaot the baby out, he wasn’t burned at all, and he’d neverDad had to stay with her, he had to calht So he — he gave me the baby He said that I had to be the one to take care of him now”
“And what did you do then?”
“I did my best,” said Alan, his voice raw
Nick had always known that Alan had practically raised him because Dad needed to look after Mum He had not pictured it like this Not Alan, small and trapped in awater and a demon baby was put into his arms
Nick had a ination of hi soleibberish Human words In the memory Alan’s small face looked worried and fond; Nick had seen that expression on his face a thousand times and had never wondered what Alan sahen he looked at Nick
Turning away from Alan’s tears, Nick finally located the clock It was standing in the shadows behind Anzu’s balefire He saw his own pale face flash for an instant in the fire-lit glass of the clock face, reflection curved in the shape of a scythe
Even the firelight could not warm those black eyes The face wasthan a mask, looked no more human than a doll
They had given that to a child To Alan
“So it was you who taught it to speak?” Arthur asked, hat seeenuine curiosity “How did you do that?”
Alan’s face was still averted from Black Arthur, but he did answer him “I’m not sure I just — He was my responsibility I talked to his out to him, I told him their names He started to speak when he was four, and I was so happy I tried — I tried to raise hiht”
“No,” said Arthur, in the patient tones of a teacher “You tried to raise it human”
Alan did not answer Arthur this ti, his voice serious It reminded Nick of the way he used to tell bedtime stories “Once he started to speak, Dad started to think — Dad thought there was hope He tried to teach Nick things, tried to tell hi he said before you killed him was that I should look after Nick, and I’ve done my best”
Arthur sounded truly puzzled “Why did you even try? Do you think you actuallyto it?”
“I don’t know,” Alan snapped “How could I know? That’s not the point Heto me I never wanted him—” He made an effort to lift his eyes to Nick’s face The effort did not succeed, but Alan’s next words were directed at him “I never wanted you to know any of this”
“Why not?” asked Black Arthur, and he looked aain “Did you think it would be upset?” He shoved Alan backward a little, turned his head, and grinned at Nick “Are you upset? What do you feel?”
Nick stared at his wintry eyes, at his handso face This wasn’t Nick’s father He’d never had a father Demons didn’t have fathers De, in a bleak gray landscape like the endless distance between Nick and all feeling over these past few days
“Not much,” said Nick
Arthur sht
“You never did feel ht half the things the hu and stupid You didn’t want to save people like Alan did You didn’t want to get close to people You don’t even understand what love is Do you? Human love Do you knohat it is?”
“No,” Nick said quietly
“Do you know anything about it?”
“I don’t,” Nick said, and sed “I don’t know”
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His voice broke, but it did notThe sky outside was such a dark gray that Nick knew there was a storh the clouds The la to Alan’s eyelashes and painted the tears running down his face yellow
Nick reached out, but the circle stopped him He let his hand fall; he didn’t knohat he could have done, anyway
Arthur reached up a careless hand, bearing a large, elaborately carved silver ring, and wiped a thu away a tear That was another thing Nick had never been good at, another way Nick had never been hu
Alan turned his face away
“Don’t touch me,” he said in a muted voice
“You were very young when it came Can you tell ht to ask, as if he was a grown-up who had come to save Alan from all this “Can you tell me how it learned to talk?”
Alan glanced over at Nick “Do you want me to say?”
Nick nodded, and Black Arthur laughed
“Of course it does,” he said “What does it know aboutleft That’s what demons are That’s what they do”
Alan turned his face away froain, toward Nick, but he didn’t seem able to look at Nick He looked at the floor
“Olivia ca for the baby Only we couldn’t, of course And when she realized there was nothing we could do, when she—” Alan shook his head, unable to wipe away the tears with his tied hands “Dad and I went to our first Goblin Market I thought it was exciting, I ca, and—”
“And what, Alan?”
Alan’s voice was very low “Olivia was in the bathroo to drown hi, and Olivia was screaht her to get the baby They were both screaot the baby out, he wasn’t burned at all, and he’d neverDad had to stay with her, he had to calht So he — he gave me the baby He said that I had to be the one to take care of him now”
“And what did you do then?”
“I did my best,” said Alan, his voice raw
Nick had always known that Alan had practically raised him because Dad needed to look after Mum He had not pictured it like this Not Alan, small and trapped in awater and a demon baby was put into his arms
Nick had a ination of hi soleibberish Human words In the memory Alan’s small face looked worried and fond; Nick had seen that expression on his face a thousand times and had never wondered what Alan sahen he looked at Nick
Turning away from Alan’s tears, Nick finally located the clock It was standing in the shadows behind Anzu’s balefire He saw his own pale face flash for an instant in the fire-lit glass of the clock face, reflection curved in the shape of a scythe