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Normally he would have rolled his eyes andaat the pillow It didn’t take Alan long to turn back to Mae and begin talking about Latin
Later Alan brought up the subject of Mae again Nick was trying to get to sleep when Alan caed up and his hair dripping onto the shoulders of his I’M A LIBRARIAN, NOT A FIGHTER T-shirt He tried to towel his hair dry and talk about his feelings at the same time
“I know that she’d eaten the fever fruit and everything, the night of the Goblin Market,” he said “But she did pick ”
Nick stared at the ceiling and said, “I guess so”
“It wouldn’t be right to ask her while she’s living with us and relying on us to help her brother,” Alan went on, worried about all the usual little details only he would have worried about “Afterward, though, I thought I ive her a call Sometime What do you think?”
“I don’t knohy you always do this,” Nick said “What’s the point? You want to get married and have babies and have to run with them all over the country, like Dad had to run with us?”
It sounded e than he’d meant it to When he levered hilare, Alan looked a little pale
“That’s not what I meant,” he said “I don’t — it’ll be years before I start thinking about getting s”
“But you do want to,” said Nick “So Why?”
His brother flinched “You really don’t understand why someone would want a family?”
“I have no idea!”
Alan clenched his fists around the da like he wanted to throw it in Nick’s face He went dark red and snapped, “I want somebody to love me”
“Ohviolently away
When he turned around again, which was not for so under his pillow to touch that stupid book as if for reassurance All of Alan’s pictures stared at Nick fro as young as Alan was now, Nick a scowling child in the uniforotten school When Nick closed his eyes, he saw the hidden picture as if it was lined up alongside the others
“Alan,” he said quietly
“Yes?”
“Do you get scared?”
Alan laughed, a s, and said, “I’m scared all the time”
The ansas so unexpected that Nick opened his eyes He’d never thought of Alan as being scared Alan always had a plan, always stayed calm and knehat to do He looked at Alan, and his brother’s face looked just as it always did, calht, but his face lied just as well as the rest of him
Later that night Nick woke to the sound of Alan talking to demons in his sleep, words Nick couldn’t make out broken up with cries He rolled out of bed as fast as if it was an attack and shook Alan roughly awake Alan stirred, opened his eyes, and then recoiled violently fro the wall
“Hey,” Nick said “Hey, it’s me”
Alan was breathing hard, fresh lines of pain around his ht the sweat had a silver sheen; beneath it Alan looked gray He looked like he’d been fighting, and of course he had The de to put the third
Eventually Alan smiled a bad copy of the ses
“Right,” he said “Okay, I’ht now I’d like to sleep”
But when Nick cli in case Alan had any more dreams, Alan did not sleep There was a click, and a circle of yellow light pooled against the wall across frolanced over he saw Alan’s thin back, saw the silhouette of his hands The shadows of Alan’s fingers were like long black ribbons in the yellow light, and he knehat his brother was staring at As if he couldn’t get back to sleep without looking at her
The next ot up to raph
8
The Capture
THAT DAY AT BREAK TIME, NICK DID NOT GO AND HANG around with his ned He went out into what passed for school grounds in London and, standing behind a sad-looking hedge that had been coaxed into half life by the co of May, he made a call It was to the local paper in Durham, and he asked them to put in a certain advertisement
“I’ll scan the picture and e-mail it to you,” Nick said “Underneath put ‘If you have any information about Marie, please call’”
He gave theency credit card Alan had insisted he should have He went into the co an e-mail address he’d just made for the purpose Nick had never wanted to e-mail anybody before
He did not give the blond girl’s slance this time around He’d decided he didn’t like her He would find out what she’d meant to Alan, make sure it was over, and then never have to think about her again
That done, Nick skipped his last class and went outside to wait for the car It pulled up, and Nick was enorer seat He cliside Jamie without comment, and they were off The journey lasted a little over two hours, though Alan insisted they stop at some place called Andover for sandwiches, in case they icians
They chose the car park beside the railway station in Salisbury as an unobtrusive place to stop
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Normally he would have rolled his eyes andaat the pillow It didn’t take Alan long to turn back to Mae and begin talking about Latin
Later Alan brought up the subject of Mae again Nick was trying to get to sleep when Alan caed up and his hair dripping onto the shoulders of his I’M A LIBRARIAN, NOT A FIGHTER T-shirt He tried to towel his hair dry and talk about his feelings at the same time
“I know that she’d eaten the fever fruit and everything, the night of the Goblin Market,” he said “But she did pick ”
Nick stared at the ceiling and said, “I guess so”
“It wouldn’t be right to ask her while she’s living with us and relying on us to help her brother,” Alan went on, worried about all the usual little details only he would have worried about “Afterward, though, I thought I ive her a call Sometime What do you think?”
“I don’t knohy you always do this,” Nick said “What’s the point? You want to get married and have babies and have to run with them all over the country, like Dad had to run with us?”
It sounded e than he’d meant it to When he levered hilare, Alan looked a little pale
“That’s not what I meant,” he said “I don’t — it’ll be years before I start thinking about getting s”
“But you do want to,” said Nick “So Why?”
His brother flinched “You really don’t understand why someone would want a family?”
“I have no idea!”
Alan clenched his fists around the da like he wanted to throw it in Nick’s face He went dark red and snapped, “I want somebody to love me”
“Ohviolently away
When he turned around again, which was not for so under his pillow to touch that stupid book as if for reassurance All of Alan’s pictures stared at Nick fro as young as Alan was now, Nick a scowling child in the uniforotten school When Nick closed his eyes, he saw the hidden picture as if it was lined up alongside the others
“Alan,” he said quietly
“Yes?”
“Do you get scared?”
Alan laughed, a s, and said, “I’m scared all the time”