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Come on

I think of Tasha and her waroing to make …

Come on, Noah

In , the ocean under Tasha and ,’ she cries

Unable to stand upright any longer, I fold to the ground I stare at the night sky The stars above look so beautiful Everything is still Babushka’s face is looking down atcloser, louder

A face floats above me Blue eyes The bluest eyes I’ve ever seen It is one of the saints or angels Babushka prays to He has come to take me to her

Oh, Tasha I don’t want to leave, not yet, I had so many dreams for us, but I can’t stay They’ve come for me

I love you …

Thirty-two

Tasha Evanoff

Losing My Religion

The next day I call Noah’s phone nuht I try not to worry His battery died He lost his phone But my heart knows it is not that He would never switch his phone off Not at a time like this

I call his club, The Matrix, put on an American accent, and pretend that I am Dahlia, Alexander Malenkov’s wife I ask to speak to Noah, but the ht He hasn’t called any of his other businesses which is very weird

‘I’ll get him to call you as soon as he calls in,’ he says

‘No No need,’ I say quickly ‘I’ll call him tomorrow’

I sit on my bed and think I think of all the possibilities that are open to me Then I lay my plans meticulously I play with a best case scenario and a worst case I make a list of everythat can go wrong on every singleoutside of my actions

At eight I go down to dinner and act noro up to Baba’s room and I tell her what I want to do Step by step She doesn’t say a word When I finish talking she puts her hand gently onI take her hand init to my lips, kiss it