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Yes, it bothered me for many years I could never understand why he let me see it To punish my mother? To shoas boss? ‘Why?’ I whisper
‘It was a warning to you Disobey me and this is what I’m capable of’
I feel her words like a chill on my skin, but I don’t allowI don’t want to be dissuaded from my purpose
‘It’ll be fine, Mama, you’ll see I’ll convince Papa’
Mama bows her head for a few seconds When she raises her head, her eyes are troubled ‘Whatever you do, do not tell him about Noah’
‘I wasn’t planning to,’ I say quickly
‘Good Just tell him you don’t love Oliver and don’t want to marry hiive hier, and do not be careless After you tell your father, whateverto meet Noah, it would be wise to discard it and wait for the coast to coain Your father will immediately suspect that it is anotheryou closely’
She looks sad
‘In fact,’ she adds, ‘I believe itto alert hi I knew the moment I saw you that you were different’
I lean forward,fast ‘Do you really think he knows?’
‘If I know him as well as I think I do, then, yes He can read people like a book He is waiting for you to make your next move so he can make his He already knows his move’
I feel a shiver of fear go through me ‘He loves me,’ I insist stubbornly, because it is too painful for me to believe that my father could be such a bitter enemy of mine
‘Darling, darling Tasha There is no other way to say this Your father is a psychopath Asking hi a plate or a table to love you In fact, it would be unfair even to ask it of him because he can’t do it He is incapable of love There is no one he truly loves other than himself You and your Baba are around only because it suits hiet rid of either of you’
I gasp
‘If you look deep into his eyes you will see nothing There is nothing at his core There is only a naked, all-consurotesque obsession for lorification’