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FOURTEEN
The rest of the night at the gallery went slowly Despite a few conversations and even two great sales thanks to Rafiq’s earlier efforts, I was in a gloo faces Even the money didn’t help, now that Rafiq’s series of purchases had ard Rafiq’s departure had hurt so much deeper inside of me
As a storh thedown the day’s nuhts except those which lit the frontthrough the night
Fury at Rafiq for his bold and public exhibition cos I had for him deep in my heart It wasn’t that his words had hurt s for me like I did for him But it was the way he did it, and that he was so oblivious to his own life that he thought I would immediately believe he was ready to settle doith me
He was a conundruhtless at the sa heart? How could I commit to a man like that?
Lost in hts, I almost wandered up to my apartment out of habit before I reht now—Rafiq’s penthouse Dark clouds gathered in my chest Would he even want me there now, after I publically rejected his advances?
I couldn’t iry There’s no way Rafiq would want this arrangement to continue, and it was probably for the best, anyway, that it didn’t Ashim in my life…
I shook the thoughts out ofin , diversion, and nothing o back to normal I would be fine
The thoughts didn’ta taxi and counting the stoplights on the drive until we arrived at Rafiq’s building
My nerves became hotter and hotter as the elevator ascended A thousand scenarios ran throughto hurtI would have to look at those broken, sad brown eyes again, filled me with heartache
But when the doors opened, it was into an empty, dark apartment Rafiq wasn’t home, and hadn’t left any indication to his whereabouts as far as I could tell As I wandered through the rooain to
Somehow, his silent absence hurt worse than if he had been here waiting to rage at me
As I walked around the penthouse, all the details of the furniture, lighting and artwork started to burn intoto save it to re to miss it, I realized, and not just because of the luxury I wanted to remember every part of my time with Rafiq
It didn’t take s fros After I was done, I sat on the end of the plush bed Listening to the silence of the penthouse,into the painting roo down in the living roo on the wall and just drowningentertainment
ButInstead, I siled up in the plush, expensive bed of my temporary bedroom one last time
There was no doubt inthe pain frommy heart, as true as I knew it to be I wanted him here in my arms, and yet, at the sauts to face hi apart completely
Tears dripped on the stark white of the pillow beneath my face
It didn’t sees already packed, I could be out of here first thing in the , and then this insane adventure would be over My life would go back to its own struggles, and I would once again be without Rafiq
My heart ached even as I fell asleep