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And now she was a part of it too

As she stared out at the bal a chill of loneliness spread over her as dahts in that frozen Croydon flat The spectre was still there, whispering in her ear that shesome shiny new future But money didn’t kill loneliness Oh, no She couldn’t buy her way out this It was only love that could do that

Love that she feared and craved in equal measures Love that had been like a forbidden fruit—just out of reach The fleeting gli Those h her and then been washed away, because there had never been enough to go round

So she’d turned to the rapture of an audience and the war body that performed perfection for them and the chance that maybe some day in that sea of faces, her father would call out her naer

And now she wanted more She wanted to feel Matteo’s love She wanted to love and be loved in return Marry him, live with hiood mum

She wanted to kno it felt to be loved for herself Not for her s dark hair, or her clever body She wanted to be loved for being Ruby

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

HE LET THE carslide slowly down, then cut the engine Warainst his face and he reached for his collar, tugged the knot of his tie loose and flicked at the top button until it popped open

Suits He still hated wearing them and couldn’t accept that he’d become one Still never properly saw hichoked in the suffocating confines of grey gabardine had not been his idea of a good time

And he’d ht up until his father’s funeral By then there had been no choice—and howto fill his father’s shoes before the hard, lumpy earth was scattered on his coffin, and he was still learning Still a work in progress

He got out and stretched his legs The drive up from London had been sweet and smooth, and he was just in the mood for a little wander round the lake and then up to the house where the British Ballet held their summer school And where his beautiful wife-to-be would be waiting to meet him

He lifted his jacket froan toflat and still like a bright blue eye in a green face

A flurry of girls just like a little Ruby flew past him down the sweep of stone steps, hair scraped back in buns and slie Six? Seven? He had very little idea when it cas like that He had very little idea about children at all, but after years of regarding the he could barely tolerate, the idea of a little Ruby to cherish almost felled him at the knees

He couldn’t i sweeter To think that his child would be born innocent, helpless and dependent on hiht He felt like a warrior for this unborn child He would do anything and everything he could for the little bundle of soft bones and tiny developing organs he had seen on the scan with Ruby yesterday

His little girl

For years he’d positioned himself as a confirmed bachelor How he’d scoffed at other men, scorned their happy faraphs in their wallets He’d been superior to all that He’d never get caught out He was too damn smart

But when he’d seen that ie

Life would never be the saain He was sure of that He only wished he could be so sure of Ruby

He’d watched her at the scan, lying on the bed As the consultant had put the ie on the screen he’d watched her eyes flicker and widen with surprise She’d turned pale, and her htened into a worried line, her hands into fists If he hadn’t known any better he’d have said she was terrified But that didn’t make any sense Women loved babies