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So, until she had made up her mind as to how to approach him, all she’d been able to do was stalk him in the virtual world

It had become a routine since the day she’d walked out of the hospital Who was thisto father her child? She had no idea She barely knew his name

She had traded in her whole world—her career, her childhood dreaht with hih, and kissed her and s she’d never wanted to do before,after she should have slipped out and away,

She had no doubt that hen it had happened—in the depths of sleep, when they’d found one another in their dreaulfed them

Making a baby was as easy as that And two lives were changed for ever

The horror of it clutched at her heart every tis she’d lie awake in bed, waiting for the hideous nightain like a dead woman’s shroud Her career was over She couldn’t dance for the best part of a year And, despite all her best efforts, heraway

Mee would rise like ghouls fro council flat, painting pictures on the da for breakfast before school but too afraid to ask her mum in case it made her cry or shout or—worst of all—storm off and leave her

That fatherless world The shame of school, where everyone else had pictures to draw and stories to tell of dads who taught theround voices had risen in competition: ‘My dad says’ ‘My dad does’

She had known nothing about him He had been just a norance had been bliss—until the dreadful night she’d overheard herwas fine until Ruby ca If it wasn’t for that kid I’d be in a different world right now’

She’d stopped asking about her father after that, and tried to bury the sickeningly shameful secret that she’d driven him away Then she had found dance and her e and it had been as if she’d lost her mother too

The only thing she’d had in her world was her body and the le to be perfect If she hadn’t found dance she’d never have made it this far

Dance had given her confidence And hope And finally an understanding that a baby wasn’t responsible for anyone’s actions

But now she had done this She had turned off her own life supply and turned on another This new life

She would lie in the watery ht, put her hand on her stomach—still flat and hard with muscle—and wonder what lay beneath What little life was in there, burroay, safe until it was ready to be born? Hoas she ever going to give it what it needed? What chance did she have of being a proper un until she’d become a boarder at the British Ballet? They were her only family And now she’d let them down too

That thought would make her heave herself out of bed before she was sick She’d clean up, then lie on the cold floor between her tiny bathroom and tiny kitchen and torture herself with fear What if she was left alone with this? What if Matteo had already met someone else? What if he refused to see her? What if he denied that he’d ever met her?

A phone call to herleft alone was a very real possibility—because relying on her for help wasn’t an option Oh, yes, she’d said she’d come to London when the baby was born, but as Ruby had ended the call, and felt the sorrowful finality of her whispered ‘goodbye’, she had known that See you soon was the last thing in the world that would actually happen

No, there had been no other way She’d had to try and see Matteo face to face as soon as she could

So she had followed him on socialabout hi the fabulous annual Cordon D’Or, which ten weeks after she’d left the clinic, was exactly where he was going to be this weekend