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"Are you sure? The way you sound, I feel like I should be ordering a casket May I suggest so in taupe? That way your pasty-ass complexion won't stand out so much"

"Nice to talk to you too, whore Just an FYI, corpses are all pale Even your tan ass will be pasty when you kick the bucket"

Olivia snorted with laughter through the phone and I couldn't help s to one of our conversations would seriously question our friendship Words like whore and slutbag were regular ter my cell phone between my shoulder and ear, I clicked save ona break when I was in the zone, butlikeat the way s and back was stiff and tight Considering I was only twenty-two years old, it was nothing to brag about "Hey, Liv, can I call you back? I have to pee so mutiny if I don't throw some sustenance in it"

"No, wait! I was calling for a reason I need you Like now" Her tone was as dramatic as she could make it

Rollingmy best not to wet my pants "Liv, I'll call you back I promise" My atte me like a prized throne

"No, you won't I know you too well to fall for that line You'll go pee, fix soet wrapped back up in your book I'ree to come help me"

"Co my reflection in the mirror To call it bad would have been an understatement If it were Halloween, I could have terrified every kid that came to my door My hair stuck out in several directions from what appeared to be a haphazard atteravated around two a my view of the computer screen Somehoeen then and now it had turned into a conderacefully showcased a chocolate stain from when I became a little overzealous with a Hershey's syrup bottle I'd unwittingly allowed my chocolate supply to run out, and desperate tia pants, which h area was covered in orange fingerprints froress to grab a napkin while I munched on cheese puffs

"Liv, I' anywhere" I turned away from the mirror before it could break orthe cat wouldn't bother dragging in Besides, I want to finish this chapter before I lose roove"

"Nicole, this is serious If you want that set your ass down here The lighting is just right, and we only have a smallto catch it The forecast for the rest of the week is calling for rain"

Unable to put er, I dropped my cheese-covered pants and sank down on the toilet "Liv, you know those crackpots on the news never get the weather right It's the only job where you can be wrong all the time and still stay employed"

"Are you peeing while you talk to me?"

"What else was I supposed to do? You said you weren't hanging up Besides, you've heard worse Need I mention Brent?"

"God no Please don't remind me I still can't believe that ass pi a duh, the noises scarred me for life"

I chuckled as I finished my business

"Are you co?" she asked while I washed my hands