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"Let's get some chow," I chattered to him as I descended the stairs two at a ti to him had always been second nature to me, but recently my endless stream of babble pleased hih I knew he understood none of it

Mya cup of coffee when I iving her a quick peck on the cheek on rab a bowl

"Not a whole lot," she said distantly, in a voice that a few o would have broken ht froht, since I really didn't yell I merely stated what I wanted to do and that I wouldn't be swayed I knew ravated the crap out of her, but since that fateful night, when my whole world had been flipped upside down and inside out, I had allowed a chasroeen us I knew the indifferent attitude I had assumed around her in the last tworun it would s easier

My days at ho to an end and she was upset by theher first To say she was pissed when I finally worked up the nerve to tell her I had withdrawn my enrollment at UC Santa Cruz, and applied to the University of Colorado instead, was putting it mildly What she still didn't knoever, was that I had no intention of actually starting school like she thought I had enrolled in college, but it was all just a ploy to givewhere I was at

I had decided two o when I stood on our beach withafter Mark I harbored the smallest bit of hope that he could be saved, that he was el like his father I would not give up until I knew for sure

"There are chocolate chipup fro

''No thanks," I replied, pouring Raisin Bran cereal into my deep ceramic bowl

I had lost o, when the love of ed from the warm delicious chocolate brown I had loved so nized My addiction for that particular sweet just no longerto coax it back out of me the entire summer, but it was like it had lost all its appeal

She sighed and resuuilt for upsetting her yet again, but kneas all for the best My attitude change and indifference would make it all easier for her to deal hen I left I would er than so off to search for the one who had rejected h distance between us that I could finally e the "human role"

In the beginning, after Mark left, she had tried to encouragemoment on our beach, I had locked the rest ofit out only when I was alone Mark leavinga limb amputated When we first moved to Santa Cruz, my dreaht, but at least I kneould be there again the next night Now the loss of not having him in our dreams has been as awful as our actual separation My soul just can't see that had been withI can remember

"I have to work in an hour, can I use the car or do you needup to wash out my empty cereal bowl

"You can use it I plan on finishingtoday for the don art show," she said, also standing so she could dig out the keys from her purse She handed them to me without a word and headed toward her art studio

My chest tightened as she closed the door firh the doors and throw myself in her arms like I used to when I was little, and weep in her ee Instead, I grabbed my backpack off the back of the chair and headed for the door, re myself that the distance between us was necessary for now

The ride to work passed in a blur as I drove on autopilot witharound Now that e, I could start to focus on o in and find Mark and his dad Haniel had let it slip several weeks ago that Victor's hideout was located on some mountain called Shasta I tucked that bit of inforain when no one else was around In the last feeeks I had educated ive the locals a run for their money

I was fully prepared to go after Mark on my own, but I knew that my friends, Sam and Lynn, not to mention my brother Shaould never allow it I knew for a fact that Haniel had already gleaned hts of a rescue mission from my head, but had yet to rown close and I realized Mark was right when he had stated that Haniel liked ure He was every person you could ever need rolled up into one: Father, brother, ine how the last two months would have been without him around