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Unless she decides to take him home…

Me: Are you planning on bringing hihtcap?

A nightcap? For fuck’s sake, I sound like my dad

Maybe: A nightcap? LOL If you’re askingon souess I’ll just see how the night goes

Oh God I do not like that response

Me: Just be safe, okay?

Maybe: You got it, dude

Two seconds later, a Michelle Tanner GIF with a thue

Maybe: And you be safe too

I furrowabout?

Me: Safe doing what?

Maybe: I don’t know I figured you probably have a big night out planned with one of your “friendly” lady friends

I’m equal parts amused and terrified at where this conversation could lead

Me: Here we go again

Maybe: HA I could have said fuck buddies, but I was trying to be cognizant of your delicate sensibilities

Me: Smartass

Maybe: So, you DO have a “this is not a date” date tonight?

Fouron Paperwork, Netflix, and a bottle of scotch to smother the inappropriate fantasies aboutout, I can’t stay ho mind

Me: I have dinner with a friend, yes

Maybe: A friendly lady friend

Me: I can confirm it is a woman

Maybe: A fuck buddy

A laugh bubbles up fro

Me: Jesus

Maybe: LOL All right, I’et ready for ht

Me: Thanks I really hope your TapNext date isn’t a serial killer, but I’ll ement for the funeral if he is

Maybe: LOL Very funny Goodbye, Milo!

When our conversation comes to an end, I feel…uncomfortable

She’s twenty-four years old She should be going on dates She should be putting herself out there

This is a good thing for her

It just doesn’t feel good for me

Truthfully, it doesn’t feel so good at all