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Mom: He says you can always call the landline

I laugh to o on forever if I’d let it

Me: All right, well, I have to finish up an interview, but I’ll call you tonight

Mom: What kind of interview?

Me: You can ask me all about it later

Mo to call? Your dad and I like to watch The Bachelorette at nine

God forbid I interrupt Chris Harrison announcing the final rose of the night

I shake h and type out ill be my final text of this chat

Me: I’ll make sure it’s before then

I slip my phone into ainst h That woe conversation for twelve hours straight if I’d let her

As I head back into the restaurant, I make a mental note to call two people

Obviously, when I get hoht, my mom

And hopefully, sometime later this week, Maybe Willis I don’t know ood to catch up

Maybe

The clock in roan as he pulls into the parking lot of ery day

Of course, when I say eon for which Bruce found a coupon on Groupon, so who kno in the hell this is going to go And, while I wish it were so fun like a pair of new boobs or a bionic arm, I’m disappointed to say I will just be the owner of one fewer tooth

A tooth I don’t need, obviously, but still

I feel like any type of surgery shouldn’t come with a twenty-percent-off discount, but I’m currently too tired to decide if it’s a bad omen or not

It’s too early to be without coffee, and thanks to theabout Dunkin’ Donuts

And I haveout the lyrics to “Isn’t She Lovely” as if he’s Stevie Wonder himself

Basically, this rumpier than Bruce on a late-Gerbera-daisy-shipment day

God help me

“And everyone laughs over my need to have a car in New York,” Bruce says after he finishes singing the chorus “Looks like it came in pretty handy today”