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It was difficult to get out what I wanted to say, worried she would be angry or worse, hurt “Theo hired a private investigator to find out about my dad That envelope has all his information”

Myat the envelope as if it were alive but dormant, and at any moment, it would jump to life She was barely audible when she said, “I’m sorry I never told you about him” A teardrop spattered the kitchen table

“No, Mom! No That’s not what this is about I understand” My chest ached not wanting to hurt s

She just nodded quietly in a trance, looking at the envelope I wondered what memories of my dad flooded back to her as she stared

Dru my hands on the manila envelope with my name written on it in bold black letters, I said, “I didn’t want to open it without talking to you first I don’t want to hurt you or h for me, because you were” Now my own tears choked me up

Mo into ht to know” Her eyes were full of sadness and regret “Once your father left during ain, but, I didn’t look” She paused looking away into the past “I never looked back because I had you, a baby on the way, and I had to get strong for that”

My ar The strongest woman I know”

“If you want to know about your father, even htly “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, Mia I love you”

The yearning to know my father dissipated as I held onto my mother Whoever my dad was, he didn't have the same love for me that my mother did or else he would have come for me He wouldn't have let all the years pass without ever once trying to contact et to know me

As I took the envelope ineyes The shredder was in the adjoining rooht for it I had h for me “I don't need to know, Mom He has had plenty of time to find me, and he hasn't”

My mom followed close behind me “Are you sure? You don't have to do that”

I turned on the shredder without any doubt in h the slot and turn into shreds of paper, I felt renewed, proud of myself, even

I put my arm around my mother “All I need is you, Mom”

We sood to get that out of the way and off my chest

The latest issue of Vogue was on the kitchen counter Mom wiped the last ofme on the forehead Then she nodded at h the issue She stopped on a Marc Janow ad of