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I didn’t care that he didn’t want o

That’s… twisted… I know

I can’t explain it and no one, least of all Katy, would understand So, I didn’t try It didn’tdid anymore I slid my hands intobeneath the dirty strands Katy paused in her berating of me and sat down on the bed She started to rub my back, an all too familiar ritual now

“Maddie,” she began “This can’t go on Honey, look Grey is a piece of shit, forget about him”

I inhaled a deep, shaky breath as she finished I couldn’t take it any longer Elbowing her off ofthe sheets aside Katy recoiled in a mix of horror and disbelief

“Shut up, Katy! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” I screa, I covered my ears and yelled, “I’m in love with him Goddamn it! Can’t you see that! I love hione My heart is broken, Katy I’m broken…”

Grief poured fro tear ducts produced yet more evidence of my sorrow

“Ohhhh,” I sobbed as I reached for her in desperation “Ohhh, Katy” I sucked in gulps of air between each sob “I love him I love him I-I love him so much”

Katy swept me into her arms and cradledthe coolness of her arms as I wept

“Maddie, shh, oh oodness Oh, honey I’m so sorry Shhh… please”

I broke free from her and collapsed back into the bed As h a haze of tears I didn’t bother to wipe them away More would surely follow I continued to choke for bits of breath as I cried Katy moved up close and did her best to try and console me

“What a to do, Katy?” I muttered “I’m so afraid”

“I know you are, honey I know,” she replied “It’s going to be okay”

“No,” I choked “It isn’t I-It’s going to get worse, Katy Much,The baby’s not going to live I can feel it”

“No, no… Maddie You can’t talk that way Please don’t do that, honey I’ you”

I looked up at her and nodded My breath hitched in between sobs

“It’s true, Katy I can feel it”

Katy sedme close Tears convulsed fro it with my despair I couldn’t believe he didn’t care Didn’t love me It just didn’t seem real And the baby, oh my poor child I should have listened to Dr Si I’d done A terrible, awful thing Just then, Katy pulled away and looked down at me

“Maddie,” she began “I’et ht back I promise Okay?”

Half-listening, I stared back at her After a sniffle I replied, “What about work? Aren’t you going back?”

She shook her head “No No way I’ll be right here with you all day I promise”

I nodded I felt ain as tears strearabbed a couple of tissues, passing them to me

“Here, sweetie”

I took them from her and smeared away the sorrow from my cheeks

“Will you be okay for a few minutes?”

“Yeah,” I whispered “Thank you, Katy”

She s a strand of her cinnamon brown hair behind her ear, she said, “Are you sure you don’t want anything to eat? Drink? A glass of water at least?”

I nodded “Okay A glass of water”

Katy reached down and caressed my arm with her palm

“Okay, honey I’ll be right back”

“Mmm, hmm”

I rolled my head the pillow and followed her with my eyes as she walked out of the bedroom I’d cried all the tears it felt like I had within me After a deep exhale, I slid out from beneath the sheets and planted my bare feet on the floor Just then, I heard Katy in the living roo the calls she’d mentioned