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But things got worse when I went to college I stayed in-state at UGA, while Kevin went to Syracuse University Syracuse was both of our first choices, but only he got in I planned to try to transfer for my Sophomore year, but in the ia
The distance made him extremely paranoid It was partly my fault; early on, I told hians of my roommate, a crazy chick named Shanna Williams from California About how she went to clubs and parties every night, and usually slept with a new guy every week About hoould wake up at 2AM hearing the creaking springs in Shanna’s bed, and her whispering drunkenly, “Shhhh, you’ll wake upafter, when I had soer in my room
“It was sooo aard – and I didn’t even sleep with hihed when I told Kevin
Hoo boy Wrooooong thing to say
After the second time, I learned to keep my mouth shut about Shanna’s sexcapades
It wasn’t like he never saw me We called or Skyped all the time We saw each other every four or five weeks Either he would drive the 15-hour trip down, or occasionally I would go up to stay with him, or we’d rendezvous in the middle at some crappy little hotel in the er Or, if truth be told, when I couldn’t stand the whininess anymore
And then the break-ups started
All of them were initiated by him
I was distraught over the first one Wrecked I cried for two days straight It lasted a week, and then he called and begged me to take him back, said that he couldn’t live without me I was elated
Four weeks later we broke up again, then got back together over Christmas break I wasn’t so elated this time
Especially when it happened again in February
Why didn’t I break up with him completely?
Because I was young and stupid
Because I loved him Or, if it wasn’t really love, because I still cared for him A lot
Because I’d lost inity to him
Because he was the only boy I’d ever been with
Because in March ured if I’d made it that far, I could hold out for another couple of months
But every month and a half, another damn breakup And eren’t broken up, it was the endless, whining, insecure phone calls…