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He’d finished the assembly of the cradle and loaded it into the back of the Jeep, packed it with old towels and blankets like precious cargo She crawled back there with it after buckling Ben up in the front in an old car seat Nell had dropped off for her earlier

“Off we go!” Ben cried, his hands over his head as though he were about to take that first big hill on a roller coaster

“Off we go!” she echoed brightly, trying to beat back the tension that rolled off Jesse The drive up the mountain to Rachel and Mac’s fares His jaas held so tight she could practically hear his teeth breaking He gripped the steering wheel so hard his knuckles hite

She hoped for his sake that seeing his sister would bring this tension to a head, would relieve some of what tormented him

They pulled to a stop in the gravel parking area in front of a low dark house

Julia crawled out the back and walked around to unbuckle Ben She took one look at Jesse and left her son buckled in, cheerfully trying to kick open the vents She approached the driver’s side

“Jesse,” she murmured “Are you okay?”

THERE WAS A CRUSHING PAIN in his chest, a burning in his head

“I don’t want to be here,” he said, staring blindly through the windshield

“You can leave,” Julia said “You don’t have to stay”

“She left me” He licked his lips “She protected me and she just walked away”

“I know” She touched his hand, slid her palm over his white knuckles

“How aive her that cradle and eat dinner at her table and pretend like nothing happened?” he asked on a huge breath

“You don’t have to pretend,” Julia said “No one is saying you have to”

“I don’t think I can forgive her”

“Really?” she asked and he turned his stinging eyes to her “You can’t forgive your sister but you can understand the way your dad used to beat you? And you can put your entire life on hold for a dead ive your sister for so to make up for?”