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“I’d hoped the pain would stop once I was out of Boston It didn’t It got worse, and so did ht I was drunk and took a walk on the beach with in” Stray tears leaked out of my eyes Annoyed that there could be any left in ht are fuzzy I vaguely re into the ocean”

Michael stiffened

“I … I remember the cold I remember a momentary fear as I went under But I also remember the relief” The tears fell faster, these ones with shaher she should have left me to die But she told me all of it”

“Fuck” Tears brightened Michael’s eyes, and he sat forward, his hands clasped on the back of his head as he glared at the floor

“I’m sorry,” I whispered

He shook his head, his throat working to hold down his emotion

“That’s the place I was in, Michael And no one, not you orthat did aking up the next er tellingto let myself drown and she’d saved my life”

Michael turned tohis hands “Why didn’t you come to me? I should have known all this shit, Dahlia I should have known And if you’d let me in, I would have poured soas worthless as you had to have felt to walk into that water”

“Michael …” I shook my head, his words a balm and a wound in equal measure “It wasn’t that simple You and I had never … and we never said we loved each other … and everythingup onI truly believed that you would move on Easily That you were better off without my brand of fucked-up in your life

“I gained a modicum of peace in Hartwell Bailey became family, I made more friends because of her, and life there seemed simple I was afraid that if I caain So I stayed away, and the longer I stayed away, the harder it beca out on everyone’s lives I’m not proud of it, Michael, but it’s the truth”

“So why did you come back now? Because you saw me?”

“Partly Seeing you was shocking and scary, but I didn’t die I survived the encounter,” I said, s you with your as painful, but it also ht That you’d moved on So when Dad called about the divorce, I knew I had to be there for hi you, I knehatever happened, however bad it felt, I would survive it”

Michael seemed to stew on my words for a second or two, and then he pushed up off the couch Outrage pulsated from him

I watched him warily as he strode over to the

“Moved on?” he bit out, turning to face me “Moved on! I didn’t know any of this, Dahlia When I wouldn’t stop hounding your faone, your mo tothery instead Dermot eventually told me that your dad sent you away and that only he knehere you were That fucked et him to tell o That you’d come back on your own” He shook his head “I didn’t knohat you were going through so all I could think was ‘If she loved me, she’d be back already because if she felt half of what I felt, she couldn’t stay away’”