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That grin hit me low in my belly

It was starting to do that every time

“You grow up soood values, makes you a better kind of person”

“From what I’ve seen I would say so,” I said “You have all charmed me”

“And thank fuck for that,” he said forcefully

I crossed s under the table at the heat in his eyes, and that smolder in them only darkened at whatever he saw in my own

“Idyllic, then,” I murmured, a little dazed froh my veins

“What?” heat me like he wanted to devour me

“What?” I said as ed I suddenly had a vision of hi the table between us across the rooht

Oh boy

“Idyllic?” he said, pulling hi me, too “Yeah This place is pretty idyllic for a kid”

I nodded and recrossed s

Cooper’s eyes narrowed on my body “You okay there?”

I knew by the purr in the back of his throat that he was plenty aware I was not “okay” “Fine,” I lied

He s “Tell me about medical school”

“You weren’t done telling me about Hartwell”

“Tit for tat, Doc You tell ”

That sounded fair “Okay Medical school was grueling Mytwenty-four-hour shifts is pretty hard”

Cooper winced “Twenty-four-hour shifts? Are you kidding?”

“Nope Once you hit second year you’re legally allowed to do twenty-four hours It’s hard-core”

“How did you cope?”

“Adrenaline eonsI think that’s what gets the so of power We can’t always control life or death, but we can do our daeon It’s taking back a little of that control The high is phenoet to tell a patient’s fa to be okay”

“But equally shitty to tell them the opposite”

There were actually no words for how shitty that was I would always reery I’d participated in as an intern when the patient died on the table I ith the attending surgeon when she told the farief that e it, I couldn’t see past the look in their eyesthis angry disappointment in us that went beyond any description

It had never left me

I tried to compartmentalize it, and the deaths that came after, in order to doa patient bad news, knowing the person could still fight to survive or, selfishly, knowing I wouldn’t have to be there to see it if he or she lost that fight But watching a patient die and then telling the loved ones that the person was gone started to wear on eon Even if the good days far outweighed the bad, it was the bad days that hauntedafter

Cooper saw the answer in my eyes

I changed the subject “A growing-up-in-Hartwell story,” I prompted

He immediately ith it “You want to hear about the tirocery store?”

Shock ran through me “What?”

“I was eight and un was a toy”

I laughed “Oh, my God”

“Myme watch that h out of it Thankfully”

I laughed harder, i up the supermarket “What happened?”

We sat there for the next few hours, exchanging stories, until row heavy

“Coot an appointment with Anita in a few hours”

Oh, crap I’d forgotten about that

After Cooper had locked up the bar, he walkedthe darkened boardwalk The whole way there I had my head on his shoulder He held up my tired body with his arm around my waist and I held on with my arm around his

It felt easy and right

And so goddamn beautiful I could have cried

To cap off the best night I could re tiht Just a whisper of his ed through my blood

“I’ll check in with you in a while” He whispered his proainst my lips

There was so ot choked up inhe saw everything I felt in my eyes

And, judging by the save me, he did

FOURTEEN

Jessica

Less than fifteencold water on h to see Archie’s partner, Anita

The previous night had been worth the lack of sleep, though

The last tiht and talked with soe rooraduate schools grin hit me low in my belly