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"You do know that it sounds suspiciously like paranoia, to think that Graff's trial is about you"
"Which makes it all the more appropriate that I'm in this loony bin," said Ender
"You understand that I can't tell you anything," said Mazer
"You don't have to," said Ender "I'o When I was just little He was hardly thatwith hi theood fighter then I didn't kno All I could do was go crazy on hiain Hurt hi would leave me alone, too I had to be crazy in order to scare the to be part of the trial, too"
"Your self-absorption is really quite sweet--you really are convinced you're the center of the universe"
"Center of the court martial," said Ender "It's aboutabout it The absence of information is information"
"You kids are so sh sarcasm to make Ender smile
"Stilson's dead, too, isn't he," said Ender It wasn't really a question
"Ender, not everyone you fight with dies" But there was just a titch of hesitation after he said it And so Ender knew Everyone he had fought with--really fought--was dead Bonzo Stilson And all the for, however they reproduced, it was over
"You know," said Ender quietly, "I think about them all the time How they'll never have anyalive is, isn't it? The ability to replicate Even people without children, their bodies are stillOnly that's over for Bonzo and Stilson They never lived long enough to reproduce Their line is cut off I was nature, red in tooth and claw, for them I determined their unfitness"
Ender knew even as he said it that this was unfair Mazer was under orders not to discuss these ht, not to confir the conversation would confir the truth had confir him to speak, to reassure him, to answer his perceived need "You don't have to respond," said Ender "I'm not really as depressed as I sound I don't blame myself, you know"
Mazer's eyes flickered
"No, I'ret their deaths I know that I' Stilson and Bonzo and all the formics in the universe But I'm not to blame I didn't seek out Stilson or Bonzo They cae A credible threat Tell the you're doubtlessof this conversation My intention was not to kill the me And the only way to do that was to act brutally I'm sorry that they died from their injuries I'd undo that if I could But I didn't have the skill to hurt theh to prevent future attacks, and yet not kill them Or whatever it was that I did to theed or crippled, I'll do what I can for them, unless their fam
ilies would rather I stay away I don't want to cause any more harm
"But here's the thing, Mazer Rackha It's ridiculous for Hyrum Graff to be on trial for this He had no idea of the way I thought, when it came to Stilson He couldn't have knohat I'd do Only I knew And I meant to hurt him--I meant to hurt him bad Not Graff's fault The fault was Stilson's If he had left ed him to leave me alone If he'd done that, he'd be alive He chose Just because he thought I eaker than hiht I couldn't protecthis fault He chose to attack ht there would be no consequences Only there were consequences"