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I don’t know any female with a child who’s as successful as Professor Gibson Which I know, intellectually, is wrong, because there are thousands of mothers who are doctors, lawyers, bankers, and scientists Even Hope and Carin talk about motherhood, someday But that soht fucking now in my belly

"Do you wish you had kids?" I blurt out as I stare at the picture of her and her husband standing in front of some ancient castle

Professor Gibson narrows her eyes, and somehow, she knows I can see it in her face

"Oh, Sabrina" There’s a question ih

I nod

She closes her eyes, and when she opens theone But I saw that initial flicker of disappoints

"Sometimes," she says in response to lad that I don’t I’ve been the special auntie to my brother’s three kids, and that’s filledinstincts I have , but I won’t lie and say I haven’t wondered what it would be like to have a child of my own"

"Do you think I can do it? Have a kid and h Harvard?"

She makes a small, sad sound at the back of her throat "I don’t know Your first year is ti, but you’re very smart, Sabrina If there was anyone who could do this, it would be you But it raduate su at the top of oals

"Or Law Review--"

I s a rad I have no doubt about that" She pauses "What does the father say?"

"It’s up to enuine "Ah, you’ve got a good one then"

I do Tucker has been very good to me, and that’s part of the proble his life in a thousand different ways--and not all of theht decision, whatever it is"

"Thanks" I push toto you, but lad you caain and leave the office I know I should talk to s as Professor Gibson In fact, the reason I went to her was because I thought for sure she’d tell et the abortion

Five ly at the dashboard I ht now She was hardly ever around and eren’t close, but she’s still my mother and I wish she were here I want to knohy she kept et ho the pros and cons Halfway through the cons, I tear the sheet in half and throw it away

My answer has been there all along I didn’t need to see Joanna, or Professor Gibson, or commune with my absentee mother The fact is, I haven’t scheduled the abortion because I don’t want to get one Itunwanted

I tuck a protective hand over et the procedure done, but I’irl Not today