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My breathing becaripped me, and I felt Blaire’s arm slip around my waist She’d been beside me whenever Rush couldn’t be in the past few days She didn’t say ht me tea and fixed me meals When I didn’t want to eat, she didn’t force , then had given me a cold, damp cloth to wipe my face When I had looked at her, I’d expected pity, but I’d seen none of that I’d just seen silent encourage words
The bridge I never thought could be was slowly for between us, and I didn’t hate it Not any what tiiven was pointless We should embrace it andher know that I appreciated her being there She didn’t have to accept ardless I deserved her hate
My brother loved her forwas one of the biggest reasons Blaire’s heart was bigger than that of anyone I’d ever met I was thankful that this was the woman who loved my brother and was the aze, which had settled on the roses on top of Major’s casket, and locked it with Cope’s
We hadn’t spoken His part in all of this had been explained to ents who had come in to question me about what had happened and my connection to Franco I understood what Major had been trying to tell me about Cope The surveillance all
My need to be loved was so controlling and pathetic that I’d believed that Gannon was so he was not I couldn’t hate him for that It was me and my messed-up need to be wanted that had created this heartbreak I now had to overcoone That was ht I loved a nant with his child, and noouldthe best aze, and I wanted to read things into that dark look that weren’t there That would never be there It was over now He would leave My memories of this tiedy of Major’s death
I was strong I was self-sufficient I was going to be OK
Cope
I didn’t know Blaire Finlay, but watching her comfort Nan when I couldn’t made me like the wory Nan I knew the stories I’d studied the background I knew about everyone connected to Nan Most of the friends at this funeral were here in support of Mase, Captain, and Nan I could categorize each one and list the interactions and connections they’d had with Nan over the years
The absence of Nan’s hout this episode spoke volumes that I hoped the others saw--those eren’t ready to forgive Nan for her past sins Villains were created, not born That was so I’d come to know as a fact I’d witnessed it over and over
Although Nan wasn’t ever a real villain, she was a deeply daerous? I doubted it
Finally, she tore her gaze from mine, and the coldness I’d felt before seeped back into me I as Slipping ht hand into my pocket, I held the circular packet of pills she had left behind I had kept them with me because they were hers and a reminder that she had loved o that a wonancy, I’d have snarled and thought she’d be a stupid bitch, because that wouldn’t keepwould
Until I’d watched Nan step out of her car for the first tied from that moment All my plans, decisions, beliefs, and hatred for huo back
Major
My dad didn’t cry Huh? I kinda thought he would I even expected it Hard-ass son of a bitch I wondered if he was still holding ainst me The woman had been a couple of years older than oat I’d saved hi with half his money He should have thanked me for it Besides, she hadn’t been that damn memorable in the sack Sure, she’d had killer tits and all, but that was it Her ass had needed more plump
Cope could look more torn up about this I mean, I did "die" and all He was too worried about Nan and winning her back to focus on me I knehere that was headed He’d basically told s I’d had for her were now nonexistent, just like et to tell her how I really felt That a part ofa wos to chase It was time for that now No more drama, just action I turned my attention to uilt over He looked devastated, and damned if he shouldn’t be I’d expected hi my expectations I even saw tears in his eyes Thatthis to hiood to know that I was loved and would be et to see their own funerals Well, I guessed they didn’t I wasn’t actually dead Hell, dead peoplearound and watch Who knew? I hoped they did, because this was a good feeling Made you appreciate peopleyou touched people and they would ood, too Except I did feel souilt from that