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And all I’ve told hi the inside of , I look out over the crowd as I decide how to answer If he told ht now that I could work those rooms, could I?

I was alone in a room with Sal when it happened He said it was standard to rehed in his face and told him I wasn’t new to this Then I asked him if he demanded that of all the rin--co the back ofo about this the easy way or the hard way

I’m still not sure which way he went about it

I re for the other guy--the one I normally dealt with--to co dealers go He wouldn’t allow this

Sal didn’t rape iven everything else he did to h, callused hands as they delved into my body When I didn’t react--not a sound, not a tear, even when I should have cried out fro around a mouse that doesn’t run He called me a cold bitch and turned his back onme time to pull o without taking full advantage Most men would have

It wasn’t until after I ran to my car, after I drove to the drop site, after I burst into tears in front of Sam, that the shock wore off and the worst part of it all hit The part where I eed Where I stood under the scalding-hot water until my skin was raw but still could not feel clean Where I put fresh clothing on and still felt naked Where I curled up into a ball until the sleeping pills kicked in, only to wake up squeezing ers had just been there

The actual event with Sal, while horrendous and hu of coered for weeks "Charlie?" Cain’s voice calls breaks into hts

"I just can’t do it" The truth slips out of me before I can control it, and I feel Cain’s eyes bore into the side of my face

I’m surprised when a war up and down , I find Cain’s normally expressionless face pinched orry "If you ever feel like you can do it, promise me you’ll come talk to me?"

I nod in response I knoithout a doubt that Cain would certainly not ood

And now I’m pretty sure I knohy Cain didn’t allowoverstaffed He knows I haven’t worked one of those roo his best to keepa life where safety is a luxury, where the only fa twice Yet it took this er--mere seconds to decide that he would protect s for Cain, I feel a pang of so that Sam would never approve of

It’s only amplified by Cain’s next words "You know that you can coht, Charlie? I will help you however I can"

Pursing le to wrap my mind around this version of Cain This interaction is so different from any other that we’ve had I’m forced to coood htness in my chest tells me that woman is not me

But whether I deserve his attention or not, the devil inmy tone casual

I catch the flash of surprise before he dips his head and chuckles, his hand sliding over that tattoo Hisback up atsuddenly dropped by a few octaves "It’s quite the ga, Charlie"

I shouldn’t ask I shouldn’t Don’t ask Don’t

"And do you like playing it?" I’m surprised he even heard me, ith my voice as low as it is

But he must have--that or he read ht now--because he steps in closer, until our chests are als as he leans in towardback as he turns around, unable to breathe for several long seconds as the butterflies thrash about in my stomach

And I wonder if maybe there is also another side--a darker, less controlled, not so good side--to Cain, after all