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I can’t helpIt’s a low, uncontrollable sound that begins in my belly and sails from my lips with abandon

And I realize that it’s the first tih that I can reh at myself? At others?

I h freely because that little burst felt like a release

But the sound must have startled the kittens because they have scattered, two bolting under the fence between Ginny’s and the Welleses’ properties Froarage that sits tostructure that matches in color scheme the house, with a steep roof that allows for that rooe door It’s open, and the tail end of a shiny black car sticks out

And Jesse is beside it

Watching me

The rest of ainst the back wall, legs crossed at the ankles like he’s been standing there for soainst his jeans Even fro e sensation washes over me

One I can’t identify One I can’t say that I like

But also one that I can’t say I don’t

OnetwothreeWho in this staring contest? He doesn’t see up I let my hair fall forward a bit, in case he can see the red line froh I doubt it This is just ridiculous This is Dr Alwood and Sheriff Welles’s--no, Meredith and Sheriff Gabe’s--son Why would I not say hi? I hold esture It’s not really a wave And I wait

Wondering

For so A out onto the crah that I juain I never heard her come in "How do you like it so far?"

I drop my hand "It’s perfect for me" And it truly feels like it is Maybe this is similar to my previous life, after all The horses, the mountains, the fresh air, the quaint little apartrins--her typical wide, white-toothed, flawless smile "Good We had cleaners and painters come in this past week to fix it up You wouldn’t believe the fuss Ginnylike that day in the hospital, I think I can picture it Which makes my heart instantly soften for the old woman, because that couldn’t have been easy She really does e, but I try to do it covertly My sone

"That’s my brother He barely comes out to say hi He’s so in love with that stupid car" She turns inside I hear her mutter under her breath, "It’s probably stolen"

My eyes flash as I trail her in This is the sheriff’s son we’re talking about, right? "Really?"

"Nonot really" She sighs as she opens the laptop resting on the table "My brother just does things that I don’t understand Things that have made my parents’ lives harder than they need to be"

"Your mom said he co a bunch of keys, her fingersit more often Before that, I hardly saw hiirl he was dating He toldfrouess it didn’t work out"

So he was in love with a girl Is he still in love with her? "What was she like?"

Ahs as she scribbles so next to her "Don’t know Neverany information from him Jesse isn’t much of a talker All I know is that she was from Portland"

Portland "How far is that?" Have I been there before?

"A few hours I did ram there HereI used this laptop for school, but I have an iPad now so I don’t need it" She pushes a scrap of paper forward "I wrote the passwords and some basic instructions down, in case it doesn’t come naturally" She stands and stretches her arerated yawn, her checkered shirt riding up over her taut belly "I’ve gotta run now I picked up an extra shift tonight"

"You work a lot, don’t you?" When I was in the hospital, there was hardly a day that went by when she didn’t stroll into hs as she drops her arms dramatically "For now, yeah I don’t have a boyfriend, most of my friends hty sheriff, so" She throws her hands up in the air "What else a to do?"

I wonder what it’s like to have Sheriff Gabe as your father He’s only ever been pleasant towardmarried to the sheriff is soine what being his child must be like

"Bamboo," Amber suddenly fires at me It takes an arched brow forsilly Dr Weiames with Meredith and A that pops intowill trigger a memory I’m supposed to keep a journal of all the word co the the sifted birds--off the table, she opens it and scribbles down the words for me "Because the end table beside your bed is oes Randos as much as out of the air

So far, I have half a journal’s worth of words that have enlightened

Except that apparently I’m aware of a panda bear’s dietary preferences

When Aone, I head back out to the deck I take a seat in that rickety lawn chair and simply absorb the peace and quiet while I wait Because I have nothing better to do