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It was a dumb pain at my heart all day I could not understand

myself For several days I had been quiet and prepared, I

thought, and submissive; now to-day all was disorder; no

preparedness; no quiet Instead were heartaches and regrets

and ishes; sometimes in dull and steady force, like a

still rain stor over th to resist; my

utmost was to keep a calm front before my friends I did that,

I think But what torture is it not, to be obliged to hear and

answer all ht, of people at ease around one, when the heart

is bending and bowing under its life burden; to be obliged to

count the pebbles in the hen one is staggering to keep

one's footing at all Yes, and one ed face, and one must smile with ready lips, and

attention must not wander, and self-absorption for a ood for ot no respite

all day Not till night, when I reached reat relief to put my

head doithout fear lest sogled with the pain that had

fought an To reat disappointment she was not at home; and

would not be at home, I was told, under a week

I passed slowly in, over the fah the empty rooms, to the innermost one which