Page 365 (1/1)
Paul Montague reached London on his return fro day he wrote to Mrs Hurtle As he sat in his lodgings, thinking of his condition, he alone to Mexico He ht at any rate have endeavoured to promote the railway earnestly, and then have abandoned it if he found the whole thing false In such case of course he would never have seen Hetta Carbury again; but, as things were, of what use to him was his love,--of what use to him or to her? The kind of life of which he dreaer Carbury, or, as such life would be, if Roger had a hom he loved, seeer Carbury! Would it not be well that he should go away, and, as he went, write to Hetta and bid her marry the best man that ever lived in the world?
But the journey to Mexico was no longer open to him He had repudiated the proposition and had quarrelled with Melmotte It was necessary that he should iard to Mrs Hurtle Twice lately he had gone to Islington determined that he would see that lady for the last time Then he had taken her to Lowestoft, and had been equally firm in his resolution that he would there put an end to his present bonds Now he had proton;--and are that if he failed to keep his promise, she would come to him In this way there would never be an end to it
He would certainly go again, as he had promised,--if she should still require it; but he would first try what a letter would do,--a plain unvarnished tale Might it still be possible that a plain tale sent by post should have sufficient efficacy? This was his plain tale as he now told it
Tuesday, 2nd July, 1873
MY DEAR MRS HURTLE,-I proton, and so I will, if you still require it But I think that such a ained? I do not for a moment mean to justify my own conduct It is not to be justified When I met you on our journey hither froenius, your beauty, and your character They are nohat I found them to be then But circumstances have made our lives and temperaments so far different, that I am certain that, e married, we should not make each other happy Of course the fault was mine; but it is better to own that fault, and to take all the blame,--and the evil consequences, let theentleon] than to be married with the consciousness that even at the very e will be a matter of sorrow and repentance As soon as my mind was made up on this I wrote to you I can not,--I dare not,--blame you for the step you have since taken But I can only adhere to the resolution I then expressed