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"My darling Chaiven certain recent intel igence, it has occurred toneed of accommodation but were far too polite to request it openly Let me tender land currently thought eous than myself You would be welcome to share my unworthy domicile and hospitality, such as they are Yours, et cetera, Lord Akelda he would read the appeal behind her forh his card had been written before her condition had becoe, she suspected her vampire friend would stil be amenable to an extended visit and had probably already known about the pregnancy Lord Akelda dress andin the now-ruined Lady Maccon In addition, he would have her at his mercy and disposal, thus able to extract al truths from her ad nausea that, as the invitation had been made yesterday
--damn the irascible Swilkins--she was not too late She was rather looking forward to the prospect Lord Akeldama’s abode and table were quite the opposite of hue col ective of such shining paragons of foppishness as to ht Relieved that she was no longer homeless, Lady Maccon sent a note to that effect She took pains to ensure that the missive was carried by the Loontwil s’ most attractive foot that would explain the presence of a child parasiting about inside her He was a very old va virtue The ludicrousness of that thought--Lord Akeldaage packed and her hat and cape in place, Alexia was preparing to quit her family’s house, probably for the last time, when yet more mail arrived addressed to her It was in the fore This tiet his e contained a hat of such unparal eled biliousness that Alexia had no doubt as to its origin It was a felt toque, bright yel ow in color and trireen feathers that looked like the feelers fro note boasted rerahts of flowery penmanship above and beyond that of Lord Akelda to read
"Alexia Tarabotti Maccon, how could you behave so wickedly! I just read thepaper You had my heart in my chest, you real y did! Of course, I should never have believed such a thing in al my born days! Never! In fact, I do not believe a word of it now
You understand that we--Tunny and I--would love to have you to stay, but circuable?--we cannot possibly tender the offer You understand? I’ht require so, and I remembered how much attention you paid this adorable hat last tio, in our careless youth, or do I mean carefree youth?--so I picked this out for you at Chapeau de Poupe I had intended it to be a Christift, but such an e clearly indicates that now is obviously a far more important time for hats Wouldn’t you say? Love, love, love, Ivy"
Alexia perfectly understood al the things Ivy hadn’t written, if such a thing was to be believed possible given the length of the missive Ivy and her new husband were committed theatricals and, quite frankly, could not afford to lose patronage through association with the now-besmirched Lady Maccon Alexia was relieved she would not have to turn them down The couple lived in the inable, down in the West End They had, for example, only one parlor Lady Maccon shuddered delicately
Tucking the repulsive hat under her ar her trusty parasol, Alexia ave Swilkins a haughty sniff as he handed her up and directed the driver on to Lord Akeldama’s town house
CHAPTER TWO
In Which Lord Maccon Is Likened to a Small
Cucumber
Lord Akeldama’s house was located in one of the most fashionable parts of London A part that had probably becoh to host said town house Lord Akelda fashionably, so co in vats of jel ied eels, it would probably becoht The exterior of his house had been recently redecorated to the height of modern taste and the worshipful approval of the ton It was painted pale lavender with gold tri around everyand aperture An herbaceous border of lilac bushes, sunflowers, and pansies had been planted as a co three-level effect as visitors wandered up to the front steps, even in winter The house stood as a solo bastion of cheer, battling valiantly against the London sky, which had undertaken its custoray and a malnourished drizzle
No one responded to Lady Maccon’s knock, nor to her tug on the bel rope, but the gilded front door had been left unlocked Waving at the driver to wait, Alexia made her way cautiously inside, parasol up and at the ready The roo ros playing host to equal y amorous cherubs painted a la Roma
"Hal oo Anybody home?"
The place was completely and utterly deserted, obviously in exceptional haste Not only was there no Lord Akeldama, but there was no Biffy, nor any other drone Lord Akeldahts: discarded top hats and piles of playbil s, the scent of expensive cigars and French cologne, and it boasted a background hum of chatter and hilarity The silence and stil ness were al the more noticeable by coh the e an abandoned tomb Al she found was evidence of departure, certain iteold pipe was , the one that nor roo but that--Alexia knew from personal experience--hid two curved blades The fact that Lord Akeldama saw fit to take that particular item with him did not bode well for the reason behind his departure
The only living thing on the premises, aside from Alexia, appeared to be the resident cat The feline in question was a fat calico that possessed the disposition of a placid narcoleptic and that roused only periodical y to enact potent and vicious revenge upon the nearest tasseled throw pil ow Currently, the animal lay sprawled across a puffy hassock, the remains of three decapitated tassels nestled near her chin Cats, as a general rule, were the only creatures that tolerated vampires Most other animals had what the scientists termed a well -developed prey response behavior pattern Felines, apparently, didn’t consider themselves vampire prey This one, however, was so utterly indifferent to any non-tassel-related creature, she could probably have tolerated residency a a pack of olves
"Where has your master disappeared to, Fatty?" Alexia inquired of the creature
The cat had no definitive answer but graciously al owed herself to be scratched under the chin She was sporting adown to examine it closer when she heard muffled footsteps in the hal way behind her
Lord Conal Maccon was drunk
He was not drunk in the halfhearted manner of most supernatural creatures, wherein twelve pints of bitter had final y turned the world slightly fuzzy No, Lord Maccon was rip-roaring, tuherkin
It took an enoret a olf that inebriated And, reflected Professor Lyal as he steered his Alpha around the side of an inconvenient potshed, it was almost as est theeed to acquire said booze so consistently over the past three days without visiting London or tapping into Woolsey Castle’s well -stocked cel ar? Really, thought the Beta in annoyance, such powers of alcoholisht supernatural
Lord Maccon lurched heavily into the side of the potshed The ainst the oak siding The entire building swayed on its foundation
"Pardon," apologized the earl with a sh, "didna see ya there"