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She left Lord and Lady Maccon in puzzled silence, with a ated their enjoyment of the second act, as did the lack of any additional bumblebee courtship rituals

CHAPTER TWO

Wherein Mrs Colindrikal-Bumbcruncher Does Not Buy a Hat

Don’t you believe this would suit the young miss better?" Biffy was a e tricolored pifferaro bonnet decorated with a cascade of clove pinks, black currants, and cut jet beads to Mrs Colindrikal-Buhter Miss Colindrikal-Bumbcruncher was plain, dreadfully plain, and the bonnet was rather more of an insult than a decoration by contrast The hat was the height of fashion, but Biffy was convinced a little gold straw bonnet was the superior choice Biffy was never wrong about hats The difficulty lay in convincing Mrs Colindrikal-Buance complements the delicacy of Miss Colindrikal-Bumbcruncher’s complexion"

Mrs Colindrikal-Bu man The pifferaro, if you please"

"I’m afraid that is not possible, madam That hat is promised elsewhere"

"Then why is it out on the floor?"

"A ies"

"I see Well, clearly we haveyour establishment! I shall take my custom elsewhere Co her daughter in her wake The young lady ave the little gold straw bonnet a wistful look Poor creature, thought Biffy, before returning both hats to their displays

The silver bells attached to the front of the shop tinkled as a new custos those bells never seely popular, despite Biffy’s occasional refusal to actually sell hats He was getting a reputation for being an eccentric Perhaps not quite so much as the previous owner, but there were ladies ould travelolf refuse to sell them a hat

He looked up to see Madahtly putrid scent of London and her own special blend of vanilla and ht Life in the country clearly agreed with her She was not, perhaps, so dandified in dress and manner as Biffy and his set, but she certainly kne to rays He wondered, not for the first tiown Biffy couldn’t help it, he was excessively fond of female fashions and could not quite understand why a woht choose to dress and live as a man

"Another satisfied customer, Mr Biffy?"

"Mrs Colindrikal-Bumbcruncher has the taste level of an ill-educated parboiled potato"

"Revolting feowns are always so well hter is engaged to Captain Featherstonehaugh?"

Biffy raised one eyebrow "And he’s not the first, I hear"

"Why, Mr Biffy, you talk such scandal"

"You wrong ossip I observe And then relay my observations to practically everyone"

The inventor s?" Biffy put on his shopboy persona "A new chapeau, or were you thinking about some other fripperies?"

"Oh, well, perhaps" Madaue as she looked about her old establishh her eyes It waschains so that patrons had to push their way through swaying tendrils, but the secret door was now even more well hidden behind a curtained-off back area, and he had expanded recently, opening up a men’s hats and accessories section

The Frenchwoht blue velvet

"That would suit your coered the turn of the briht I simply caave a little bow "I am but a steward to your vision"

Madame Lefoux huffed in amusement "Flatterer"

Biffy never knehere he stood with Madame Lefoux She was so very much outside his experience: an inventor, a scientist, and middle class, with aladies and an eccentricity of dress that was too restrained to be unstudied Biffy didn’t like enigmas--they were out of fashion

"I have recently co Lord and Lady Maccon at the theater"

Biffy illing to play along "Oh, indeed? I thought it was bath night"

"Apparently, Lord Akeldah alone"

"Oh, dear"

"It occurred to me that we have switched places, you and I"

The French, thought Biffy, could be very philosophical "Coain?"

"I have become a reluctant drone to vampires and you nest in the bosom of the Maccon home and hearth"

"Ah, were you once in that bosoot all the way inside Not for lack of trying, of course"

The Frenchwoain Busy night for newhepicture He wore his very best brown suit True, his cravat was tied --and his hair was slightly htly mussed these days despite liberal application of Bond Street’s best pomade One, apparently, had to bear up under such tribulations when one was a olf

Felicity Loontwill entered the shop and wafted over to hireat show of cordiality She smelled of too much rose water and too little sleep Her dress was very French, her hair was very German, and her shoes were quite definitely Italian He could detect the odor of fish oil

"Mr Rabiffano, I was so hoping you would be here And Madahtful!"

"Why, Miss Loontwill, back from your European tour already?" Biffy didn’t like Lady Maccon’s sister She was the type of girl ould show her neck to a vampire one moment and her ankle to a chimney sweep the next