Page 26 (1/1)
She finishes unbraiding her hair and shakes it out, coo,” she says, disappearing into the bedrooround “I have class”
I’m a shameless assle I know this, because only a shameless assle would move around the counter to see into her roo bra and panties set, pink with black polka dots Facing away froht round ass so delectably perfect in the boyshort panties Oh god, oh god She feels lare at me
“Well you’re an assle”
“Should’ve closed your door”
“I told you to leave” She reaches into a drawer and unfolds a pair of jeans, steps into the her strip
“But I didn’t and you knew it”
“I didn’t think you’d blatantly watch rin at her, the smile my buddies call the panty-dropper “I’m not a pervert I just appreciate art”
She srin No one calls me Colton No one I’m Colt “It wasn’t a line, Nell It was the truth” I turn up the wattage on the s a pale blue T-shirt in white-knuckle fists “What are you doing?”
I don’t answer I continue toward her, step by deliberate step I feel like predator, a lion stalking prey Her eyes groide, doe eyes Her nostrils flare, her hands twist the shirt, her brsts swell as she breathes deeply, swelling until they threaten to spill out God I wish they would Like I said, shameless She’s just inside the room, which is tiny Barely space for the bed and dresser I’ain, and I could see her niles if I looked down, probably At the very least, I’d be treated to a huge expanse of porcelain cleage I don’t look though Iboil of eaze as I reach past her My hand brushes her shoulder just beside her bra strap as I grasp the edge of the door I’both her shoulder and ear Her eyes slide closed, breaking the contact, and I hear her breath catch She wilts slightly, the tension bleeding out of her, and she tilts her head to rest against ht with renewed deter me I pull the door closed between us Just before I step out of her front door, I take one of my business card frouitar strings I close her apartment door with deliberate noise, so she’ll know I left
The walk back to the subway and the subsequent ride tome with tooage train a o downstairs to the shop I set my phone in the dock and blast Black Label Society’s “Stillborn” loud enough to drownblock I’ It’s for a classic ’69 Camaro, which didn’t mean shit to me until Nell showed up, and then all I can think of is Kyle’s Camaro, which I restored from a bucket of rust in a junk heap into mint condition, and then left behind when I moved here
I loved that car, and it hurt so bad to leave it behind, but Dad had paid for it, so I couldn’t take it Never mind that every penny of the parts came from me, or that I’d spent the blood, sweat and tears to restore it The seed money ca Harvard, then I brought nothing but what I bought myself That was the deal
At least Kyle took care of it
I snorted as I thought of Dad’s expectation that I go to Harvard He’d actually thought that would happen Fucking ridiculous Even now, alh his head I’d fit in at Harvard like a bull in china shop
My thoughts return to Nell Sanding piston rings is boring busy work, so of course I can’t help but think of her Of her sweet crystalline voice and her piercing green-gray eyes and her fine, fine body Goddamn it, I’m in trouble Especially when I think of the deep-seated ache in her gaze, in the desperate way she drank that whiskey, as if the numbness was a friend, as if the burn was a welcome respite from reality I know that pain, and I want to take it frohts, knohat haunts her
I mean, of course I know Kyle died, and she saw it happen But that’s not really it Souilt And I want to knohat, so I can absolve her of it Which, of course, is irit sandpaper down and inspect the ring, finding it ground down to my satisfaction The headers are the next item of business, and those too only take a portion of hts are free to roam back to the way she leaned her head onshe could let herself go, let herself lean further But she didn’t, and I can’t help but respect her for that, even I know her strength is false, propped up by the shaky girders of old irders will collapse, and her world will crumble, and I know I have to be there when that happens
Chapter 7: Cuts; Pain for Pain
One week later
I’m perched on a barstool in aan original song No one is listening, but I don’t care It’s enough to play for the love of the music, for the chance to feel the notes fly out and bounce off minds and hearts I take that back, there is one person listening: the bartender, a girl I knew for a long tio We weren’t really compatible, and it turned into an odd sort of friendship, wherein she gets hts in return for a hundred bucks and free drinks and sooes further Kelly, her naood Jack and Coke But we just didn’t click in the bedrooured out what it was, other than just…not quite right But we enjoy each other’s cohs So she’s listening, and I’irl with long black hair and bright brown eyes and coffee-colored skin and a sweet s body ill never be , kind of lonely and sad but touched with humor