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He did what she instructed Using a Colerave He worked fast, using the exertion to help hi until he was just e of the shovel, lift, heave Sweat poured off him Perhaps there were tears there, too, for his nose was running when he was done and there was a treet hirave As he started shoveling dirt, he had to close his eyes "Go and be at peace, lass, " he said hoarsely to the weight of the darkness "Don&039;t stay here and look at this Just go " Because of the thought, in the end he didn&039;t irl&039;s spirit to come back and visit, seek any attach- ment to the place She was one When he was done, the forest was quiet He had a cowardly de- sire to avoid his lady&039;s coet stupen- dously drunk Instead, when he got back to the house, he cleaned up and took a shower, letting the hot water run over hi jeans and T-shirt, he headed for the study She was there as he suspected Reading, her head bowed over the large book in her lap
Bran lay on her feet The fire was going As he stepped in, she didn&039;t lift her head "Did you knohat he was about to do?" Jacob asked If the wrong answer came from her mouth, he would have to walk away Rejoin his brother and let the sae deaden his soul so it wouldn&039;t ache like this any her eyes, she laid her head back on the chair, the flicker- ing shadows fro her expression Her face, while sad and tired, was heartbreakingly beautiful as always It ut He didn&039;t know if he wanted to throw up or fall to his knees and put his head in her lap "My world is a horrible and yet beautiful place, Jacob Vampires are as deeply complex and unpredictable as humans Carnal, how- ever, is siestedIt was a courtship act?" Jacob didn&039;t bother to hide his disbelief Her lip curled distastefully "Yes As a vae, you weren&039;t exposed to courtship strate- gies Proving you can out favor I want you to burn that rug, " she said, raising her head and opening her eyes "I don&039;t want his blood from that cup in my house " "So to court you I would have to become a cross between Ma- chiavelli and a serial killer " "You don&039;t courtclosed to hiives you any co those laws? The specific ones that ap- ply to tonight?" The one that allows the o unpunished? Lyssa cocked her head "Yes and no You&039;re fainal draft of the Declaration of Independence included lan- guage to abolish slavery?" He blinked at the topic shift, but inclined his head "They had to remove it, else they would have lost the support of the southern states, and the whole concept of an independent coun- try would have been lost to noble principle
Everything is tiree to ritualized behavior, which would mini- mize body count, had to be propped on the foundation of their supe- riority Even then, we still had to endure the territory wars to get everyone under the umbrella of the Council And there reh power to satisfy them They e darkened, he realized he&039;d unwittingly reminded her that she could not help the Council do that for aze snapped back to him "Which comes back to another issue Carnal could have killed you easily tonight " "If my aim had been better--" "If you had killed hi the book on the side table with a flat slap of noise Bran rose and resettled several feet away, his eyes shifting between them "Do you knohat&039;s done to a servant who kills a vampire?" "What the hell did you want me to do?" He pressed forward, al- most nose to nose with her "Let you drink it?" "You have a mind link, Jacob Why didn&039;t you use it? No, be si- lent " She flung up her hands in irritation "You&039;d only tellyourself It was just o You wanted to call hi me know so I could have dealt with it another way " "So you&039;re saying I killed her I&039;er he had trouble ed "She wouldn&039;t have lived long in his ser vice His servants never do " "So that&039;s a yes " "I&039; that you are o has no place in your ser vice to me If the moment calls for pride, it will be ather light scent teasing his senses and the slender nape of her neck begging for a stranglehold
"I&039;et about the rug " It was the wrong hts in hisin an ocean of black- ness Lyssa al hi was off, but he was expected to obey That was all She would have s after the terrible events of the night, but the defiance she felt rolling off him raised her own hackles "Why can&039;t you just learn to obey?" "Because a human servant isn&039;t a trainedto draw a line between us you know doesn&039;t belong there " He&039;d sto, hands clenched She had no concerns he would try to hurt her That wasn&039;t what the fury pu off of him was about, but it had the ability to strike her just the sa herself up, she pivoted to square off with hi a look of disdain on her face and securely locking her mind from him "Jacob, even if ere the sae difference " "Don&039;t give me that, " he said "What about someone like Lord Brian? There&039;s not much difference between us, about three or four decades " "I do view Brian as a child, still a fledgling " He rolled his eyes "I&039;rooht, uard when you were still in diapers " She glared at him "That&039;s ridiculous, and it&039;s not relevant I de- mand your absolute obedience to my will, even when it conflicts with your bullheaded, outuide his actions, just once, and he ended up dead " "It was his fault, then For loving you too irl is dead? It couldn&039;t be because you va idiot hu her She couldn&039;t remember the last time she&039;d shouted Often she&039;d felt impotent fury at Rex&039;s actions, but it had to be controlled
She let this loose, let it fill her, the whole uselesshiht to love etting that you can only serve us It doesn&039;t matter what I wish or want You cannot be one of us " "Who would want that?" While Jacob kneas a mistake, Irish temper was Irish temper, and it didn&039;t often respond to his reins any better than he did to hers "Cold, ruthless, soulless crea- tures who think they&039;re so bloody fucking superior to us, when they can&039;t even get along without adopting rigid territory rules as if they live in medieval Europe Who are no better than any species that thinks it has the right to brutalize other ones because they can&039;t fight you Who consider us nothing" The girl&039;s dying gaze flashed through his , my lady " A muscle twitched in her delicate jaw He knew he should stop Instead, he plowed onward "But there are times when it all slips away, doesn&039;t it? Then you&039;re just like any of the rest of us that live and breatheNeed Then I&039; to you, far more than you wanttrap all you want; I know it I&039;ve felt it when you touch me, watchAnd that cunt of yours that gets so wet forto take in the cock of a du his head back as she took his she wore But it wasn&039;t about strength She could have punched hih talls, but she chose the act of female contempt in- stead "I won&039;t be spoken to like that " Lyssa bared her fangs Blood was trickling froht to keep her voice steady and push away the overwhel desire to slam him to the carpet, tear into the wound and force him to under- stand just what a vaht Don&039;t seek me until I bid you come to me " "Gladly After all, you don&039;t need me around until you need your hair cos most of us inferior huarten " Snarling, he turned on his heel, leaving the room The kitchen door at the back of the house slah to vibrate the walls She stood there, the fire crackling behind her, absorbing the an- ger in the roo the air as well, for now she was short of breath, her violent reaction draining away and leaving only the emotional pain she knew it had s for hiainst herself, with dire consequences for them both The truth was he&039;d scared her to death Each ti Carnal, she experienced the terror anehen she&039;d thought she wouldn&039;t intercept in time She also remembered her dark pleasure at the way he&039;d hurt Carnal That second of entirely personal and vengeful satisfaction could have cost Jacob his life The thought brought another disturbing, if far uard, who had watched over her during her sleeping hours in the opulent nursery she had below- ground So dark hair out of its knot so she could press her face into it Pretend- ing she was behind a curtain, she&039;d hide from him until he flipped it away and revealed a ferocious warrior&039;s face thather on his thighs, letting her hold on to his hair and sway, as if in the cradle of a solid oak&039;s branches The disturbing part came later, when his face was a mask of fe- rocity in truth, teeth bared,with sweat and blood as he took a spear through his abdo on to the shaft, he&039;d cut down its bearer and snapped the end against a wall, pulling it free and charging forward, roaring at her maidservant to take her and run, runLyssa shuddered, pulling herself back to the present When Ja- cob stood facing her just now, she&039;d s off the soil of Melinda&039;s grave, scrubbing it from be- neath his nails His eyes were sick hat he&039;d just done, and she&039;d wanted to comfort him She&039;d made him bury her alone, just as she&039;dbut serve her with complete loyalty
She&039;d lost her objectivity Every ti hi hiry at her, his fists clenching, eyes blazing, but all she&039;d been able to think about when she saw that trickle of blood on his lip was howShe found hi by one of her fountains, the one with the center sculpture of Pan The dancing satyr a the artful sprays of water forarden For the first time since she&039;d met Jacob, she found herself hesitant to reach out and touch She siht behind hi her love she couldn&039;t protect her- self froreater loss in the long run So, taking a breath, she laid a palm on his back She drew coht be His shoulders lifted and fell in a sigh "Did I tell you Tho?" She shook her head He glanced back at her, then looked up at theto take the place of so you&039;re re- placing is inferior, used up, no longer viable or relevant " Lyssa arched a brow, uncertain of where he was going "Thomas was a scholar, " she observed "One with a wicked sense of self- deprecation There were tiave a halfhearted snort "Yeah, me, too But that was actu- ally better than the biblical relevance of the naht of his older brother through trickery Genesis 25:23 `The older shall serve the younger &039; Jacob talked Esau out of his birthright by withholding food He tricked their father, got the bless- ing meant for Esau When his brother learned of his trickery, Jacob fled into exile froine hi those Bible passages and attaching them to his own life His brother believed Jacob had abandoned hi
He was servant to a dying vampire he loved, but he could not save her, either She didn&039;t have to read hisin them What did as appropriate ht now His pain, and in truth, hers Lyssa curled her ar him in her em- brace As he bowed his head, she brushed his shoulder with her lips "Gods, today ful, " he ers closed over hers on his chest Loosening her grip, she coaxed hi up, she fra the softness of his trimmed beard under her touch He shook his head "I don&039;t kno to get er I want to cry I want to rage I want to hurt so and I needI don&039;t want to have to think at all I don&039;t kno to be your servant right now I&039;ain "I feel coto happen But this knocked ht out fro the fountain between the away now made her feel even er She didn&039;t want to let hio, but she didn&039;t knohat to offer him Her life hat it was, and he had co a part of it "Jacob, " she spoke, bringing him to a halt As the silence stretched out and he turned, raising a brow, she was surprised at how difficult it was to say the words when it was soo "I lied to you, in a way I do believe I&039;s happenedI ran into some difficulties and she was born early Too early I buried her in Jerusalem " The baby had coht Fey, vampire and human, an aberration that couldn&039;t live At his shocked expression, seen through the wavering spray of water, she nodded "It was the knight&039;s child "
She firmed her chin, raised it His eyes had become brilliant, fierce on her face "He died soon after he left ht it was better that she went to be with him, because he could always protect her, would always put her first His soul was pure, untainted by politics and evil things " He came back around the fountain, stopped within five feet of her "Why did you tell me that?" "Remember I once said I could live ten thousand years and never understand sos, that none of us ever would? Like why some- one like Melinda dies, or myOur child was born too early " She h she couldn&039;t , she pushed away the recollection of the tiny body swaddled in velvet and silk, being laid in the earth "We shed our tears and have to go on I just knowIf I was Melinda&039;s lad it was your hands that held her at the last, safeguarded her to the next life Never doubt your heart, Jacob It&039;s the best I&039;ve ever known "The night of the third o But I couldn&039;t I just couldn&039;t I&039; of his throat, the deep penetration of her fangs Theto her No, she couldn&039;t let hio He shifted, uncrossed his ar with his own ee the ugly confusion of grief and anger battling inside him to approach her in an acceptable way She could see it in hisin him like storm wind "Go--" She stopped herself No, she wouldn&039;t o to bed in my room I&039;ll come to you soon You can sleep in my arms, or bury yourself in me in whatever ill help Be whatever you need to be to deal with this night or whatever is co " His hands closed into fists at his sides and yet she saw in hisover her flesh, holding her with brutal need She knew that life had a way of piling up horror upon horror, test upon test, on a soul Like the weighting of stones on a witch&039;s body until she illing to say or do anything, sell her very soul for the crush to ease
The only way to get through it was to remember what you were What you intended to be, who you intended to be He deserved that He was not a supplanter, a pretender taking sohtful place Whether or not he was meant to be her servant, he was meant to serve her Before her now she could see not only the present Jacob, but that knight His large, capable hands and firhtened in her lower belly as he turned, took a step toward her, then another He wouldn&039;t go to her bed alone