Page 72 (1/1)

There was nothing that could be done about it I didn’t want her to see e, didn’t want her to fold and try and tell the feds she was really the one who had put the bullet in Novak So even though it tasted like dust and ash all along ue, I refused to see her, and after about the fifth tiht, stared at a ce to think of all the ways I could have done better by her, could have prevented her fro a part of any of it The ansas really simple when I broke it down I should have kept my hands off of her, left her alone That way, at least, had she gotten tangled up with Novak, it would have fallen on Race’s hands, on his conscience, not mine

The feds had wanted to keepme, and the fact that I had bad blood was not lost on theh dirt on the rest of Novak’s operation that eventually, they had had to cut a deal that involved time served and probation Titus was pissed The fed he had turned the case over to was dragging his feet on getting , and Titus knew it He said it was because I refused to go into protective custody They wanted o play house in soe ainst the last of the crew, but I refused I didn’t kno to live anywhere but in the Point, and I had never been the type to hide

Really, now that Novak was gone, I was probably the scariest guy left on the streets, and I was stilla beat-down, that I didn’t think anyone was going to be brave enough to try and take me on

I didn’t just think about all the ways I should have done better by Dovie I thought about her mouth, her pale, freckled skin, and the way her hair twisted and turned like it had a life of its own I reht jade when I was inside of her, the way she called me “Shane” when she was turned on, and the way she used “Bax” to reht there were two sides of ular It sucked that she was right to be afraid of hi but hurt and trouble And it extra sucked because there was enough of Shane in me to know that now that I had been out for teeks, the best thing was just to forget her and let her live a safe and happy life away froht with hi ure out what etting super drunk pretty ht whenever anyone soreckless and stupid I knew it and I couldn’t stop it In all of my life, whatever had been handed tohard and rough meant I was never dissatisfied, knew I had done my fair share of really fked-up shit that I needed to atone for, but I had never been unhappy or felt like I wasNow I did, and I hated it I felt carved out, felt wrong, and just on the fine line of keeping it together and not going all-out crazy

I was at my shithole aparth a handle of cheap whiskey, whenthe line I had subconsciously dropped the “half” every ti he was the only real tie I had to what I wanted h I still had some issues with the way he had let the whole show play out with Novak

“What are you doing here?”

At least that’s what I ue didn’t feel like it orking right

Titus took one look at iant handle of whiskey was sitting on the floor by the bed and scooped it up I should have protested when he duy or the fortitude to get into it with him

“A lawyer contactedall over ot out”

“That’s because you’re a star witness, and if you go and do so stupid to ruin what little credibility you have, it can put Benny and the rest of Novak’s crew back on the street They’re trying to make you keep your nose clean”

I swiped a hand across my face and baredbro”

“You’re acting like a dumb-ass”

“Whatever What do you want, Titus?”

“Gus’s estate is getting closed in the next few days He left pretty e and the cars” Titus’s blue eyes were sharp as he stared at me “He left that to you”

My head was fuzzy and I tried to sit up all the way, only to have the room tip on its side and eit’s yours You just need to get your stupid shit straightened out and go sign off on the paperwork I guess the lawyer handling the estate has been trying to get in touch with you, but apparently, you don’t want to talk to anyone”

I closed my eyes and threw an arm over my eyes I s to say to anyone”

“Really? Maybe a phone call to your best friend to tell him you’re happy he made it out alive? A call to your irl to let her know youan ass? Jesus Christ, Bax You should see her It was alree to keep her o and break her heart on top of it She thinks you blao back behind bars for her You need toto love you the way that girl does Go home, Bax Fix this, ot her killed”

I wasn’t sure I said the words, but I felt theht on hed and I heard the old chair creak as he lowered his body into it

“Yeah, well, that was a perfect stor Yes, she is vulnerable because of you, because of Race, but isn’t it better to keep her close rather than let her face it on her own? Just because you aren’t physically around her doesn’t ths you illing to go to set her free Pointing a loaded gun at your head sends one hell of a ot it loud and clear”