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Again, that deep ache ina kid Not a care in the world"

I rehts ina floor below, I’d take out ing across the page--I’d draw buildings, bridges, and other structures that interested es of darkness--caves, pits, eclipses--so I’d be sure to sketch the pond and the sun, added light and balance to the black

When she didn’t respond I continued, recalling how easy it was to walk out the front door into the sunshine and forget all of it, every single part, for the next few hours

"When I was a kid, I didn’t care that my knees were scratched or my shins had an entire landscape of bruises across them Or that I was completely filthy and my hair was matted to my head with sweat I wasn’t even sure where in the hellht as a balloon drifting off in the warood days--to last as long as hu froust of air, her eyes round and wide "Now you’ve ic"

"I want a redo of one of those carefree days There weren’teven ed the rigidity inin the entire fucking universe went to shit and began to aze focused on the road but really a whole world away

"What ic?" I asked

The bittersweet look in her eyes deepened and I figured she was thinking about her dad She twisted her bottolanced at me, almost hesitant "There was this one time it was just my dad and me He had taken me to the beach to shoot pictures of the waves"

"Where was your mom?"

"At work My parents always had odd jobs and work hours My dad would go off on photography assignments because he worked freelance and then he’d come back with all kinds of stories"

"That’s really cool"

She nodded "But this was just a quiet afternoon we shared and the water was so gray There was no wind kicking off the lake and it was so peaceful"

"Huh," I said "So you do have a water tale after all, Blue This wasn’t some public pool with chlorine"

"Got me there He drove us up the freeway to Coe Lake," she said, her lips curving at the s that day about life He was such a brilliant and poetic reat hter’s hand "Like what?"

"He would say all kinds of things, really My parents were very spiritual, very connected with nature and inner beauty But that one day really stuck with me," she said "Because he told et to know the whole of yourself’"

My eyebrows creased together "What did heat me "He said, ‘Jessie, promise me this: Explore all the different sides of you We all have darkness and brightness inside of us You won’t know exactly what you’re made of until you embrace all of it, feel it, live it Only then will you be able to face all that life has to offer, head-on’"