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A keening cry tried to work its way up fro Just a couple weeks with Gavin and I worried about everything Why was I so weak?

But I knew For the first ti to lose

I knehen the hyperventilating started that I shouldn’t do it It was past I didn’t need it anymore

But the darkness seemed so perfect, so easy I held my breath I wouldn’t take it all the way Just flirt with it Just afor my chest to heave, to force me to breathe

But it didn’t, instead it burned, and I couldn’t catch my breath at all, and then it was too late

13: Gavin

The ocean stayed to our right the whole ride down to Ensenada The waves were high, peaking in white froth as they curled against the beach not fifty yards away

Bright painted lines flew beneath us on the straight, clean highway The old road, cruside Outside Rosarito, the resorts were beautiful and pristine, the English billboardsapparent who they expected to travel there Nor "Last Corona for 25 miles," but I was too intent on our destination to appreciate the journey

My mind whirred about this boy What did his birth certificate say? He was a Mexican national I couldn’t take him across the border if I wasn’t listed Did Rosa even know my last name? I wasn’t sure

Rosa wasn’t legal to cross either I doubted she had a passport The neays talked about illegal is But it was so easy for h Could Rosa? Why would they stop her if I brought her? Surely it was okay for her to visitloud cousins froainst my back the same way Corabelle’s had e rode out into thewomen places on the Harley They were the only two

I wasn’t sure I believed Rosa’s insistence that she wasn’t a prostitute Her explanations were designed to elicit sympathy, but they were also convenient Trust didn’t come easy to me, someone who had proven utterly untrustworthy

I focused on the road, the stripes down the center and the set back to Corabelle I would ht We would work it all out, somehow But I would not keep this from her I meant it when I said there would be no secrets between us

I needed to call her So Who cared about the rates, or anything? Just do it Hopefully she’d been busy studying all day With her parents around, she probably didn’t expect me anyway, just to have her father pull another stunt like last night

The sign hadn’t lied The next 25 miles were desolate, just the ocean, rando stretch of road But eventually civilization returned, houses and cantinas Rosa lifted her head and pointed to an exit We passed a university, beautiful and tri you would see stateside I realized I didn’t know Mexico at all I had judged a whole country by the poor border sluhborhood The houses would have been perfectly suited in parts of California, with neat, even streets lined with cars, stucco walls, and Spanish-tiled roofs If Manuelito were here, ould Rosa want to take him away?