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But I can’t lose her

"I’ as you think," I whisper helplessly

"Yes, you are" She swings her leg over oes hard as she grinds her hps against ainst her At any moment, someone could walk around the house and see us, but I don’t care

About anything other than her

This

Us

I just wish I deserved it

Sheback as my hands cup her brsts fro person who builds houses and ives Mason little toy cars… and who has the ue ever"

But I’m not who you think I am

I wish I could say it aloud and that she’d be okay with it

Withto be so an imposter

Later that day, I’ like shit Avery is at work, and Nova and Quinton are out Me, I have the night off So I do so television and drown inbushed and bleary eyed, her shirt un-tucked and her shoelaces untied

"Is everything okay?" I ask as she tosses the keys onto the table

She nods as she flops down face first on the bed beside … about Delilah… I just wish things wouldn’t have ended that way for her And souilty"

I pick up the remote and turn the television off "Yeah,uilty?"

She turns her head to look at me "Because I knew about Dylan and didn’t help her I tried to talk some sense into her a couple of times, but that’s it"

"We all did that, Nova And if anyone should feel guilty, it’severy day"

"Yeah, but you had your own probleht on myself"

"Hey, I’ve been there, too" She pushes up to sit on the s are easy to sink into It’s the co out the"It still feels like drugs control my life so much"

"Tristan, it’s norhbor… We’ve all had slipups"

"I’ back at her

Her brows knit "Then what are you talking about?"

I shrug, staring at the space of carpet in front of my feet "Some of the stuff I did… it still haunts me"

"Do you want to talk about it? You used to talk to aze to her "But talking to you about it isn’t going to solve the proble to Avery… because that’s the real probles I did"

Nova scoots to the edge of the bed "You’re not a bad person"

"Youthat if you knew the truth," I say miserably "If you knew some of the stuff I did"

She shakes her head "You may think that, but trust me, Quinton toldon the streets And, while I found a lot of it horrifying, I still wanted to be with him because I love him"

"But Avery and I aren’t in love We’re just friends"

She rolls her eyes "Whatever Even if that’s true, if she was a real friend, she wouldn’t think less of you And from what I know about her, I don’t think she will She has her own shit, too, you know"

"Yeah, I guess," I s to think about" She gets up from the bed and pats my shoulder "I think, when it all comes down to it, it’s really up to you and how close to Avery you want to be If you care for her and want to be with her, then tell her If you don’t, then don’t worry about it We’ll be gone in a month anyway" She walks into the bathroo her final words to haunt me

What do I want exactly? Such a small question with a broad answer I want to be happy--I’ Want to keep going forward instead of backward Want to go forith Avery

I’m scared shitless as I open my phone and compose a text to her

Me: We need to talk There’s so really important that I need to tell you

Chapter 33

Maybe it’s time to make up my own mind

Avery

There was an exactabout my past so much I’m not exactly sure when it occurred or how it happened other than, one day, I realizedis, I’ve always thought that, when I’d co me back, that I was supposed to help whoever cried out For a ht that person was Tristan, but now I’m not so sure anywrong again, yet I can’t see for him