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I lower the necklace back around o in"

"I aers close around the metal door handle "But I have to warn you that I haven’t spent a lot of ti"

"You don’t have to spend time with him" The screen door creaks as I open it I’ him into my house for God’s sakes Into my home where my son and I have lived and been protected from the outside world, and I’m both terrified and excited

"No, I want to" He follows e part of your life, right?"

"That he is," I say quietly as I watch Mason bounce around the kitchen, singing the inappropriate song and dancing around the table, putting on a show for Nova and Quinton "If you really want to impress him, you can play soccer with him Jax and I have zero sports ability, so we’re useless"

"I’reat either, but I can doat the collection of photos on my walls Most are of Mason, but some I’m in, and Jax, too A map of my new life, out in the open, for Tristan to see I feel so vulnerable, like I’ my scars

He squints at one photo in particular ofa cheesy pose "You look adorable in this one"

"I look like a dork" I signal for hio into the kitchen I can’t take the vulnerability any longer "Now, coet this show on the road"

Two hours later, the six of us are playing soccer outside in the backyard Everyone is laughing, happy, bellies full of good food Mason see Tristan, who is a lot better with kids than I thought he’d be All three of theh their tih the experience that living a lonely life is unfulfilling

And right now, I feel… full

And guilty

Worried

Happy

Confused

Sad

Between people being here for eneral, I’ht?" Jax asks as he jogs up toaround

I shrug as I watch Tristan kick the ball to Mason who then punts it to Nova "I think he ht have a crush on Nova," I remark, amused when Mason winks at her "Five years old, and he’s already a flirt God, I’er"

"You already do, don’t you?" Jax asks as he glances at everyone "But in a good way, right?"

"Yeah, I think so" I stare at Tristan as he runs around, celebrating with Mason over a point he scored Then I straighten my shoulders and focus all ofI need to say "I think you should stop watching Mason so much," I announce

He winces like I’ve kicked him in the face "What?"

"I don’tto realize how much you probably need your own life"

"Avery, I’out loud It’s the least I can do"

"And I’ out, but not so much You need your own life, too"

"But you can’t afford daycare," he presses "You needout" I s to back up my promise However, I vowed to ue anymore, I step away from him and toward the wooden deck decorated with cheap patio furniture "I’o set the ice cream out so it can thaw, and then we can have cake" I slip inside the house and wander over to the freezer, hu around for the three different ice crea for the cookie flavored one at the back, the back door slides open

"I’ue with you, Jax," I say, elbow deep in freezer food "Things are going to change whether you like it or not"

"That’s really great, but I’ me to jerk back and drop the two tubs of ice creaainst the fridge when I note how little rooht you were ot that when you called me Jax" His cheeks are tinted pink from the sun, his blond hair unruffled, and he sne and sweat "You wantmy head, I bend down to scoop up the tub of ice crea"

Tristan crouches down to pick up the tub by his feet "About things changing?"

I nod then straighten oing to make him watch Mason less" I set the ice cream down on the counter then shut the freezer door

"That’s an interesting lecture" He puts the tub of ice crea then hoistoff e "He watches him all the time, and he doesn’t seeoes out on dates whenever he can, and it made me realize he doesn’t have a lot of free tie and studies me as he folds his arms "Do you mind if I ask you why he lives with you? Is it for his help?"

I waver, detero with the truth "Reie? Well, I always felt bad after I got married and left Jax behind to live with her The stuff she did… and the house… It was really bad I finally caot him out of there But I still feel terrible that he had to live in such a shitty place… Some of the stuff "--I shudder--"it was bad"

"I can i hard "I’m sure some of my old homes were equally as bad"

"Yeah, but you weren’t a parent," I remind him then add, "And neither waskids"

"How many brothers and sisters do you have?"

My insides wind into tight knots as I think about the call fro "I have no idea Jax was the last one born but occasionally when h she’d talk about other children she had before Jax and I… not sure what happened to theuess is that they’re with their fathers or were taken away"

"Avery, that’s terrible" He looks horrified, cut deep, like I struck a nerve

"Yeah it is, but at one point, I wasn’t any better" I trace er over the letters inked on my collarbone "I did a lot of stupid shit and almost followed in her footsteps"