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Zack turns around when so to her about a stereo and I can tell by his flirty tone that he’s attracted to her I can’t see through all the fog in h All I can see is hazel eyes that subtly notice me and for the briefest second, I think irls don’t notice aze is the only detail I can pick out about her and then I’ain

Finally,with hts The routine continues A pattern is for Take a hit Zone off Check phone Nothing Over and over again In the end,rolls around, I’m so out of it I feel like shit, barely able to move I try to tell myself that if someone would have just called--showed me they cared--then I would have stopped But I know that’s a lie Deep down, I know that the moment I chose to take the first hit, not only didwhoever I ith it That ain

Six years later…

(Present day)

Chapter 3

I feel so old

Avery

Life is confusing

Life is hard

Life is… life

But life is also living life and even though I struggle every day, I try to stay positive that I’

Stay positive that I’ht is a little more difficult than others to maintain this mindset I have beer onme in the face with his elbow, my jeans are torn andSunday night outings, but tonight, the music is too noisy, the crowd too rahter I pulled the night before to study

At twenty-two years old, I feel e or act the age I should be based on the responsibilities I have of being a single mother is always a constant battle withinmy friend Charissa doesn’t understand

"Avery, where the hell’s your enthusias crohile bouncing up and doith an ay I envy We’re at The Golden Element House, at a concert Only one band has played and we still have threealready "You’re usually o out"

That’s because I’ht

I’m worried Avery

I’m mother Avery

I just had to leave uilty about

Always do

"Sorry! I’ht!" I check the tih because it’s exactly one minute later than the last time I looked "And I look like shit," I say "I really should just go home Mason’s sick and my head isn’t into this anyway"

She aier at ht" She sreat"

Easy for her to say With her body-hugging black dress, curly blond hair that probably took two hours to style, and flawless makeup, she looks like she just walked off the runway Me, I’ for three days straight because I can’t find time to do laundry I can’t wait until summer seh before I get that little piece of paper that will hopefully givesince I was sixteen, even if I got off the path for a while

I’oing to be uy squeezes bybeer on my boots and then offers to buy me a drink as an ‘I’ he’ll take the clue that I’uy here

He doesn’t pick up on lass of water, then?" He stares at my brsts when he says it

I crosstree"

He glances frorin expands "Oh, are you two…"

This isn’t the first tiht I was a lesbian, and I’m sure it won’t be the last "Yeah, we are"

Charissa chokes on her drink, spitting souy an apologetic look before narrowing her eyes at uy stalks off,under his breath "It keeps theuys aren’t bad, and if you don’t stop thinking that way, you’re going to end up alone"

There’s no point in responding Charissa hardly knows anything about h to her to explain why I will end up alone, at least when it co any kind of a relationship with the opposite sex If she did know everything about my past, the truth about Conner, howto convinceto convince herself Besides, I decided that day, when by so to do better this time That I had to Not just for Mason and myself, but because I felt there was a reason why I ca for me in the darkness of the stars

"You knohat you need to do?" Charissa leans in and lowers her voice as she peeks over at a group of guys near us "You need to get laid and I’ one of theina hasn’t been used in so long it’s probably dusty, but sex isn’t a priority--can’t be

I know arguing with Charissa is useless, though She is twenty-three, works part time at the same bar asto school That’s about it for her responsibilities and I’ my life problems to her couy out," she says "For all you know, one of them could be the one"

"No, they can’t"

She shakes her head disappointedly "Look, just relax, okay? If you’re still not feeling it by lances over at the tallest of the frat guys His hair is combed, his face freshly shaven, his jeans and button shirt obviously clean He’s clearly checkingyou’re going to want to stay all night," Charissa muses with assurance