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I reach up and drawanother breath of sether? Or does it… does it bother you?"

He pulls a nah face as he hops off the bench into the snow "I’ll be fine"

"Are you sure?" I get to h the snow after hiate "Because you can talk tobackward so he’s facing me, with his hands tucked in the pockets of his coat "I’ether You’re better for her anyway" He spins on his heels, walking forward and kicking the snow

I’m baffled as I hurry after him, because I’m not better for her She just chose to be with me, despite how much I don’t deserve her "I’m not better than you in any way, shape, or form"

"Yeah, you kind of are," he says si to be with anyone for a very long ti his cigarette ashes into the snoe reach the gate, where he pauses and faces ain, I looked at it as a second chance" He opens the gate and then walks through it, turning his back towardnearly died, for Christ’s sake, and so I should be grateful I’ate behind me

"I was" He stares out at the icy road as alk up the side of it "Until a couple of weeks ago when I found out I have hepatitis C"

I freeze in place, stunned beyond cos as if he didn’t just say so to look at me "Yeah, I feel like it’s some kind of cosmic joke Keep me alive just so I can find out I have so on how things go"

I don’t know h to know that he probably got it froot it All that ed forever "Tell me what I can do" I lean forward and catch his eye "What do you need?"

"There’s not much that you can do for arettes, thinking "Just take good care of Nova, if you end up with her" He opens his pack and pops a cigarette into hislucky to have her" He offers hter from my pocket, still stunned beyond words at what he just toldworld and I was able to walk away fro to haunt him forever It feels so fked up

"The roles should be reversed," Imy head "You should be healthy and with Nova and I should be the one who…" I can’t even say it

"It doesn’t really arette "You’re the healthy one You’re the one Nova wants You’re a lucky SOB, so be grateful and take it"

He’s right I a here healthy and sober after everything I’ve done Lucky to be alive with all the death in the world, when so ot to spend the ti as Nova And I ht now to take eafraid and tell Nova I love her Stop holding on to the past It’s ti forward

Nova

The funeral was harder than I thought I cried more than I wanted Delilah’s mother was a wreck, barely able to walk into the church without falling down Myhi, even though I wanted hiht have fallen in love with him a little bit more because I kne hard it had to be for hi the people who attended the funeral There were ru beaten Raped So shot and that she’d simply OD’d But Quinton, Tristan, and I have our own theory We sa Dylan ith her--they knew he had a gun, which is e told the police Whether her death will ever be solved, I don’t know But regardless, it’s a tragic story, one that I ould never happen again

After it’s all over, I can feel that fa instead of sitting around and watching all the bad that surrounds s I want to do in life and stop worrying about the what-ifs Life’s too short to constantly be worrying about everything that could go wrong And it’s ti people instead of thinking about it so much But I wonder if I can do it Give up school My friends My band My job Quinton

This is what I’ about as Quinton walks up the path to my house, bundled in his coat, his nose and cheeks reddened fro for about an hour, chilled to the bone, yet I can’t seeo inside, frozen in place until Ito take in life

"Hey," he says as he reaches the steps "How are you doing?" He shakes his head as he trots up the stairs, re his hands from his pockets "Never mind Stupid question"

"No, it’s not a stupid question," I say as he takes a seat besidesways beneath us "I should talk about how I feel, and I feel like shit"

He places a hand on top ofback and forth "Tell me what I can do to make you feel better I want to make you feel better"

"Build o back and pull her out of that house"

"Nova, you can’t torture yourself over this," he says in an uneven voice, gripping my hand "Trust me It’ll ruin you"

"I already feel ruined"

"But this isn’t your fault"

"Yes, it is" I shake et it I knew Dylan rong for her since they first started dating a few years ago Knew that he probably was abusive to her, and I didn’t do anything to stop it"