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"Why are you being so pushy?" I ask "You barely even knowback at the road as the light turns green and he starts driving again "You blame yourself for the accident and think self-punishment is a way to irlfriend because you don’t think you deserve theet and because it was easier to deal with life when you were high And maybe even because it was a way to slowly kill yourself"

"Those aren’t the only reasons I did drugs" I feel this co--to prove that he doesn’t know as much about me as he see tell you?"

He shakes his head "Greg can’t tell me Doctor-patient confidentiality, remember?"

What the hell? "Then how do you know?"

He presses his lips together as he watches the road, his jaw taut, his eyes hued with pain and penitence, and I swear for ayou I was describing o"

"Oh" I’ the first thing that pops into my head, which seems stupid after I say it "Sorry" Jesus, that was probably the stupidest thing I could have said I know, because I hate when people say that to e, irreversible mistake and now I have to live with it forever?

"For what?"

"For flipping out"

"You’re allowed to get pissed off so soet closer to a section of the city where stores line the streets instead of hoirl and that rins at me

I shake my head, but calin to explain what Nova is to me? "I’m not even sure what Nova is"

"How did youuneasily "She was going through a rough time in her life and sort of wandered into the house I was staying at… in the beginning we spent a lot of tiot better"

"So that’s why you don’t see each other anyot better and you’re still working on stuff?"

"No, that’s not it" I rake hts into words "It has to do with the fact that she savedabout ure out how to deal with now that I’ co I realized in Vegas But I can’t ad it--accepting that ed That I’ve broken o Replaced her

He considers what I said as he flips the blinker on to change lanes "What do youas I recollect everything that Nova did forthe line between life and death "When I was going drugs and stuff she caet ave up on et ave up on reat interest "She sounds like a good person"

"She is," I say, nodding in agreeood, probably, at least to be with er at me with accusation in his eyes

"There what is?" I ask, puzzled

He glances at"The reason why she doesn’t visit"

"Yeah, so It’s a good reason"

"I coree with you"

I’m stunned by his response and the frankness in his tone "You don’t think I should see her, then?"

"Not until you’re one hundred percent ready for it" He steers off the hborhood "Relationships are complicated and can be erous You need to ood or bad"

I nod, not necessarily liking his advice, but understanding it "So distance is good for now?"

"If you think so," he says, slowing the truck down to make a turn

I’m not sure if I do or don’t Part of me wants to see her all the time Be with her But part of me is terrified of hoould make me feel and what it would mean, not just for me and her, but for the o? I’m not sure if I’un to ize to the people who lost loved ones during the accident, before I can even think of letting ood things to make up for the bad I’ve done

"And what about you?" I ask