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A few people in the crowd nod, like they totally get what he’s saying Understand I should It’s a story sihher head out theThe distraction that led me to drive carelessly Still, I should have just pulled over

I’ change inside hten I’m not sure what it is

He raises his head back up and I’m surprised there aren’t tears in his eyes "It took s to finally realize one si the pain, but accepting it and doing soood toback and forth across the front of the roo that helps people, instead of wasting away because I feel sorry forlances at the people in the rooood in the world You’ll be surprised how uilt is"

He stops there and people start asking hi stuck in ? Feeling sorry for h all my shit decisions over the last two years, I come to the painful conclusion that ood to make up for the lives I’ve taken I’ve just sloalked toward death myself, deter with all the aching inside

The et I’uilt or seeing so to I’m not even sure I’ ends, I’o find someone to buy from so I can pump my body up with meth and focus on the adrenaline rush of that instead of the positive adrenaline I’ in front ofpretty ?"

I stop in front of hiive him a quizzical look "What?"

He chuckles as he leans over and collects a Styrofoa so fast, I thoughtfor iving ain, he waits for me to respond

I slowly shake my head "No… no fire"

"So then what’s up with the rush exit?" he asks, reaching for the coffeepot "Did ?"

I’m about to tell him no, but he seems like the kind of person ould call uess"

He pours the coffee into the cup before returning it to the coffee et really intense" He reaches for a packet of sugar "It seeet, but I think it’s because I become more and more deters in a different light"

I glance around at the few people in the roo out of place "Yeah, I can see that"

"You seear open with his teeth "If I’s?"

"Yeah, he did"

He sar into his coffee, then tosses the packet into the garbage before grabbing a stirrer "He’s a pushy son of a bitch, isn’t he?"

I nearly smile "Yeah, sort of, but he’s not that bad"

"Nah, he’s not bad at all" He walks out the door and toward the steps that lead upstairs Theroom is actually located in the base into the church In fact, I feel like I’ed the moment I step over the threshold, whether by church members or God, I’m not sure, especially since I’m not really sure I believe in God

"In fact, he actually helped s up the stairs

"Really?" I ask with doubt, grasping the railing as I walk up

He pauses in theover his shoulder athave you been seeing hi "You’re a newbie, then" He starts up the stairs again "Give it ti his getting-better speech "How long does it usually take?" I ask as we step out into the pew area and turn for the exit doors to our left, which have wreaths on them Christmas cheer everywhere and yet I feel so bu his coffee, which I know is stale because I tried it the first tis and nearly threw up from the nasty taste

"I don’t know" I scratch the back of roup people leave the church "To get rid of the weight on , because that would mean I believe it’s possible And I don’t Not really, anyway But Wilson seems so easy to talk to,

He briefly stares at me before he takes a sip of the coffee, then stares up at the front of the church, where there’s a lectern, rows of chairs, and a stained glassthat rays of sunlight shine through "To be honest, it doesn’t ever go away" He returns his attention to ot to learn how to deal with it and ood covers up the dark part of you"

"Dark part?" I pretend like I have no idea what he’s talking about, when I do, ay too fking well

He gives ot out of rehab, right?"

"Yeah"