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Forgiveness If only more people could do it Then maybe there’d be less pain in the world

When I walk into the house, it s on the kitchen countertop There’s a stack ofwith theat his phone as if it’s the ene to the floor "Are you ready to call hiripes as I plop down on the sofa beside hi "But I assure you, you’re not"

He narrows his eyes at h now to know he’s not Just a little annoyed "But I sort of aet inforrabbing a handful of Skittles out of the candy bowl on the coffee table "What he’s going to do--if he’s okay If he needs anything now that he’s out"

"Yeah, but I’m not even sure he’ll talk to me since he barely would in rehab," he says as I pour the Skittles intoand pull a pouty face and clasp my hands in front of me "Pretty please"

He shakes his head and then swipes his finger across the screen "Fine, but I’ this because you let me live here and because your pouty faces are ridiculously hard to say no to"

"You don’t owe ly "And you pay rent, so this apartment is as much yours as it is mine"

"But you take care of me," he says as he pushes buttons on his phone "And keep ood boy about it" I pat his head like he’s a dog, although he’sHis blond hair, blue eyes, and ss in a boy band, all perfect and char But his past is dark Haunted Full of les with every day

"I’ives ets up fro the coffee table and heading toward the hallway

"Hey, where are you going?" I call out after hi down the hallway at hi into his roo me crazy" Seconds later, his bedroom door shuts

I sit back and retrieve s of myself for a year and a half now and it’s sort of becoot a lot of clutter inin a diary, even though I also use soinally start out like that I first started doing it during a rough time in my life, about a year after ht before he did it and for sos myself o--the need to still connect with hiht on the sofa and press the button that flips the screen atbrown hair runs to reen eyes stare back at low to it and freckles dot irl in the world, but I look decent when I’m sober and my systeet the right angle, I clear"Tristan can be so serious so stuff he doesn’t want to do Not at all the sao He’s been sober for over threewith ood that he’shioes to work at the coffee shop a mile away from the house and attends the university and stays away from parties I can tell there’s ti in the house eating pizza with Lea and me, but he always stays, which tois okay, at least I hope it is And I hope it is for Quinton I wish I knew So about him, but he won’t talk to o I’m not sure if he’s mad at uilty over putting h what he did, but I don’t want that for hiuilt as it is and I’ forward"

I click off the ca the dishes as a way to keep myself busy Part ofbecause I’e is nowhere near what it used to be In fact, it’s been sort of silent for the last couple of ed to stay so busy with school, raphy studio, and of course my band

Yeah, I’m in a band called Ashes & Dust Jaxon, Lea’s ex-boyfriend, is the singer, the bassist’s nauitarist is Nikko I’m the only chick and Lea always makes jokes about how lucky I as with Jaxon and her didn’t end well Soet uncomfortable between Jaxon and me, whenever Lea’s naet to play my drums and I wish I could do it all the time Life would be so much less coet the dishwasher loaded and I can hear hi o into the living roo on so around I’d play hbors complained about the noise So sadly I have to dance to vent and I prettybrown hair around and really shaking h fronore the rush of heat I feel on o over and turn the music down

I smooth my hair and wipe the sweat from my forehead before I turn around and face Tristan "So what’d he say?" I ask, breathless

He crosses his ar not to sets hihten back up "Now tell me what he said Is he okay? Good? Bad? What?"

"Come sit down" He nods at the leather sofa and I walk over and have a seat He sits down beside htly nervous as he fiddles with the botto okay," he says

"And" I ive me more details "Did he see his fingers through the locks of his blond hair "I think he sounded pretty okay He’s staying with his dad and he says they’re talking and everything, which they never used to do He’s supposed to start going to a therapist next week and to a sobriety support group, which is good in ot out of rehab He told me he’ll probably stay in Seattle for a while and try to find a job there" He pauses, watching my reaction, like he thinks I’m about to break apart

"Oh" I should sound happier than I do--should be more happy for hi for… I don’t know… that I could see hiuess"

"Then why do you sound so sad?" he questions, searching"I’m happy for him Just sad that I can’t see hiht"