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"Thank you, Luke," she says sleepily, patting ainst her Her throat ain, but the noise is trapped like I a at the wall across the roo After a while, her ar the floor as her eyelids flutter shut and I’ the tears back, hating her forsecretly glad she’s passed out I toss the syringe down on the table, then I push to th, I rotate her to her side because sometimes she throws up I have a house full of quiet now, just how I like it Yet, at the saets to me What I really want is what all the other kids have The ones I see at the park playing on swings while their parents push the Everyone always seeet close I always reht now, this vile, icky feeling, mixed with hatred and sadness that ht offanymore Happiness isn’t real It’s e and spoon into the box, wondering if my life will always be this way If I’ll always carry so et everything into the box and I feel like I need to flee soain I can’t take this any here With her

"I can’t take it!" I shout at the top of s and ra sound and it hurts so bad tears sting atto the floor, but of course no one hears me

No one ever does

Violet

(Thirteen years old)

I hateNot just froforward into someplace new If I had oing anywhere The thing is I always have to, it’s not a choice, and I never know exactly where I’ or who I’ll be stuck with Sometiious freaks Haters Wandering hands

The fa I do is wrong and that I should be hter, Jennifer I’in with They seem pretty content with the child they have and I’m just a decoration, a flashy object they can show off to their friends so they can get told how great they are for taking in such ato fix me and make their faive her a home," a woman with fiery red hair tells A one of her neighborhood shindigs, which she does a lot, then complains about them later to her husband "These poor children really do need a roof over their head"

A in a chair at the table where I was directed to stay the entire party "Yes, but it’s hard, you know" She’s wearing this yelloeater that reminds me of a canary that was a pet at one ofShe arranges soe flowery platter and then heads for the refrigerator "She’s kind of a problee pitcher of leain, then leans toward the redhead, lowering her voice "She’s so angry all the time and she broke this vase the other day because she couldn’t find her shoes… but we’re working on fixing her"

Angry all the tiry at the world and it’s understandable considering what I’ve been through, yet no one wants to deal with it That I probably have too e inside erous All the things that no adult wants in a child They want sh, too I’ around for et rid of me and they can tell everyone they tried but I was just too htht and she wet the bed the other night She even ca she was scared to sleep alone" Her eyes glide to the tattered purple teddy bear I’ "She’s very immature and carries that stuffed anie"

I hate her She doesn’t understand what it’s like to see things that ly truth, painted in red, stuck in es I can’t shake Death Cruelty Terror People taking other peoples’ lives as if livesThen they leavetruth with me Alone Why did they leave me behind? This teddy bear is all I have left of a tily didn’t consume my life

I turn my head away from the sound of her voice and stare out theat the sunlight reflecting against a lawn ornaainst ave me as an early birthday present the day before he died There are little red, heart-shaped beads on the tulip and when they catch in the light they flicker and ainst the concrete on the back porch It’s pretty to watch and I focus on the to stay in control of s I’ve buried will escape and I’ll have no choice but to find a way to shut it down--find my adrenaline rush

Besides, Amelia doesn’t need to repeat what I already know I knohat I do every night, just like I knohat I aet tired of me and sendI do will annoy those people, too, and eventually they’ll passs once when I was little--that I’d continue to groith my mom and dad, smile, and be happy--but that dream was crushed the day they died

"Violet," Amelia snaps and I quickly turnat me orry and a hint of fear in their eyes and I wonder just how ht? What I saw? What I escaped? What I didn’t escape? Does itto me?" she asks

I shake my head "No"

She crooks her eyebrow at me as she opens the cupboard above her head "No, what?"

I set the teddy bear on er because the last tiot sent here "No, ma’am"

Her eyebroers as she selects a few cans of beans out from a top cupboard "Good, now if you would just listen the first ti now," I say to her, which results in her face pinching "Sorry I’lares at me coldly as she stacks the cans on the countertop and takes a can opener out froet e freezer"