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"I need to hold you," he said The thickness in his voice was getting to me

"I need to hold aze up to meet his The unshed tears in his beautiful blue depths almost sent me towithso much future pain How much of that pain could I handle? Was I ready for that? "This is a lot for me to take in My past" I sed "I’ve never told you about s You taught s You made me believe I could be wanted You wanted et that But right now I need to be alone I owe you the world, but I don’t think I aer Your life is about to change, and I don’t see ive ed, and he re in the world would have keptaway his painexcept this "You don’t just fit into my world, Blythe You are my world," he said in a haunted voice, then he walked away

The door closed behind hione, I curled up on the floor and sobbed for all I had been given and all that had been taken away

KRIT

I sat in a chair facing theMy eyes focused on Blythe’s car She needed to be alone and think As long as I knew she was safely underneath me in her apartment, I could deal with it But if she tried to leaveher, the more I realized it was i to let her leaveto Live Bay tonight Until Blythe was back infroer, I was going after her though She ht think she needed to be alone, but she needed me as much as I needed her

My phone lit up with another call from Britt Until I knew Blythe wasn’t lost toto abandon my kid If it was mine I knew the condom broke, but I wasn’t an idiot Girls like Britt lied I wanted doctor’s proof she was pregnant, then I wanted a paternity test the moment the kid was born Only then would I accept that it was mine

Blythe was my number-one concern The devastated look on her face that had turned to acceptance had killed me She had hinted at the past I had alondered about I knew someone had hurt her, but she’d said she had never felt wanted until me Did that mean no one had wanted her? What about when she was a kid? The pastor’s faoing to protect her She would never feel like this again I would make damn sure of it If it took the rest ofeat away at me If I’d only known she would come, I would have never touched anyone else If I had only known that Blythe would walk into ht, I would have been ready for her To give her the life she deserved I wouldn’t be a fking singer in a band who had slept with more women than he could count

The preacher’s son was probably so fking pure, it was ridiculous He probably had a job where girls didn’t throw their panties at hihts pulled into the parking lot It was al in soon He wouldn’t bring the party with him I didn’t worry about that

The car pulled up to the front of the building, but it didn’t park Then I saw her dark hair as she ran toward it Standing up, I watched as Blythe opened the passenger door and cli with hi lot and shot off But it wasn’t going toward town It was headed for the interstate Motherfucker! GrabbingI’d find him, and when I did, I’d beat him until he couldn’t breathe He couldn’t take her from me She was mine

Chapter Twenty-One

BLYTHE

"What did the doctor say? Did your dad talk to a doctor? Who called hih o I hadn’t answered because I couldn’t talk My tears were dried up, butI had done when it had finally sunk in that another woive birth to that baby A part of him I had lost it

I had curled up on the bathroo stopped Linc had called four ht So Pastor Williams had been admitted to the hospital He was in ICU He’d suffered a heart attack Not a good one either Apparently, they were arown up in a house with the man, but I didn’t know him All I knew of him was the sermons he preached on Sunday and the tis to me And when she had beaten ht her

Then two ivenanyone had ever done for ed me when I left He hadn’t stood at the door and waved like a parent would as I drove away He hadn’t even been there the day I left He had gotten up and gone to the church office without a good-bye

But noas in the hospital I was his only living familyif that was even what I was I was his ward, or I had been his ward for nineteen years of my life His mother had passed ahen I was ten She had never come around or spoken to me His father had died when Pastor Williaiven Everything I knew about his life, the rest of his congregation did too

"Blythe, I’ll stay with you It’s okay He uy," Linc said, reaching over to squeeze my hands

Confused, I turned to look at hi pretty hard I shouldn’t have told you over the phone I didn’tDad didn’t think you were very close to him I’m so sorry"

I had washed my face after Linc had called about Pastor Williao to South Carolina, and I’d said yes I wanted to go Not because I needed to see Pastor Williaet away This was an excuse to clear my head It sounded cold But as I supposed to feel? I didn’t really know thefro

"It’s okay I’m fine It wasn’t--" I stopped myself I wasn’t ready to tell anyone about Krit I couldn’t handle it yet Talking about it would make it worse "I’m fine," I repeated instead