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We have a lawyer This is so I’m pretty sure we can’t afford Unless he wins--in which case we’ll be able to literally buy hih This process--a trial, o on for years That’s what the lae-can’t-afford told us We don’t pay hiood deal for hiency--that all went away It left weeks ago And for the last one back to normal It feels like life before we knew any better Only we do know better, and there’s this heavy weight that’s constantly hovering because of that As much as the day feels like any other day, it also always feels like the bottom of it all is about to drop out

Leah hasn’t asked any questions, but she senses so is different I had to leave work early last week to pick her up from the daycare at my mom’s church She punched a boy Apparently, he called her babe, and she did not like that Part of h, so Leah was sent ho a full day of class It was Spanish; I’e’s tutoring

I ue Her

I pass the library every day, even the days I don’t have to come to campus I come anyway I always look, and so one, just se for each other

I’ to wonder if that will ever stop

Our last conversation was the one on my doorstep, when the truth came out and sed e came--that she showed up the minute she heard the news of Martin’s arrest--meant so much I’m not sure if she realizes it, but that act--it was so selfless She wasn’t there for any reason other than toand surviving this news She was there because part of her loves me, loves us I think she realized it then, too, but it’s been nothing but quiet between us ever since We just can’t see, to talk about it We both know it’s there, but there’s just tooelse in the way

"Dude, sandwich hts I tend to drift to lately I spend a lot of ti out our family was cut in half I try to recall the face of each person we talked to and the words on every paper we signed We never questioned anything But ould we? Who gets news like that and starts asking questions about crooked cops and rieved

"You are aware that sandwich is not a verb, right?" I ask, slicing a hoagie roll and lathering both sides with mayonnaise I’ve been back to work for teeks Chuck insisted I take soh I probably would have been able to return after a week, I think it’s good for my mom that I was home more often She’s back at the church now, too Routine is the best kind of savior

"Your sandwiches are verbs,up to sit on the counter, but quickly leaping dohen Chuck walks out from the back roo to look at Casey

"I’ for a job," Casey jokes I think part of him loves how much Chuck can’t stand hiether a stack of binders fro on to his office, never once glancing at my friend

"He’ll love me one day You just wait--Casey Coffield, e one of the slices of pepperoni away froh as I finish his sandwich, deciding to cut it in half and share it with hi The ca break, so we’ve been dead for the last several days And the library--it’s been empty

I nod to Casey to follow me to a table in the break room Chuck’s office door is closed, so he won’t notice We both dive in and start eating as soon as we sit down

"Dude, I’h a full one to culinary school You "