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My classes don’t start for another two hours When Cass wakes up, I’llI think I deserve to dress pretty today

Closingit in a circle with ive in, and turn it over to read Rowe’s note to

- R

I wipe the tear before it falls, then fold my only Valentine in half and slip it into the small pocket of my wallet behind my driver’s license

My ho out drawings inideas for Leah’s roos--but itnow makes her room look like a castle

She would love it

My sister’s alaret to my feet andwithout h conversation for the day through the two sentences Rorote on paper for me Those words--they said a lot

Rowe keeps her headphones on for the few ether; she doesn’t say anything more than "bye" when she finally leaves for class I pull outit always ht just call for a little throwback muscle

My hair pinned up, I leave our roo slowly to rocery stand in the center of ca fro chicken I know if I go to the store, I’ll see him And if I don’t see hi o to the library and sit near theI pretend I’

He never co this place for the very reason I’roup of Spanish students meet yesterday, and I was hopeful It’s his second see But they worked in a group for an hour, and he never came

I’m sad every time he doesn’t And relieved

A little pathetic

My classes feel like a review,but work ahead I suppose my parents would be proud of ht now they’re kind of busy being shamed by my porn stint--however fabricated--so…

When my last class lets out in the late afternoon, I pass the library and pause at the steps, letting my backpack fall to my feet so I can lean forward on the railway and scan the expanse of s It’s the same every day The same people every day And it’s never him

I usually come back later, but it’s Valentine’s Day, and I have a date with nobody--wouldn’t want to be late for that IAn hour Maybe less But if I don’t come, I’ll feel like I’ve missed hiingover my arm, I throw my shoulders back and enter the library the same way I have the last four days--like I’ is fine My heels are harsh on the concrete floors, and I notice a few girls look up froa little more force into each step

Get over it; they’re shoes--and they make noise when I walk Fuck, I’ll be on the carpet in a second

I round the corner and move to the back, to thedesk I’ve now clai on the desk It’s a book, and there’s a sticky note on it I stop and look behind me, then peer down an aisle to see if someone is around The desk really isn’t mine, but seriously, ould sit here on purpose if they didn’t have some crazy-ass ulterior motive like I did?

Nobody is around, and after I wait for a few seconds, I decide it ot to reshelf It’s not like I need the desktop to study I couldn’t possibly review another note So I pull the seat back, then push the book to the edge of the desk, stopping when the words on the Post-It note catch my attention

Happy Valentine’s Day, Princess

I turninat the foot of the desk, I pace up and down a few of the aisles inup empty I’m alone