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"What, like a battery or so caught fire in the engine, and the thing was s at the memory

"What’d you do?" I ask, now totally invested in how this ends

"Like any respectable sixteen-year-old, I got on my bike with a backpack filled with lame-ass picnic food and rode to her house," he says "She was dressed in this really nice outfit, and here I was in Dockers and a shirt that I sweat up on my way to her house It was a truly pathetic display"

"It sounds sweet," I say, surprising myself when I hear hts Houston relike hell I had the power to reverse time

"Thanks," he says finally, his voice soft "She…Bethany…she thought it was pretty sweet too We sat in her front yard, eating crackers and cheese and weird Hostess snacks, and then…she kissed me"

My smile fades when he says this part, but I force it back on my mouth I don’t knohy; no one can seehis late…wife? This…it shouldn’t upseton ers

"So, when did Leah happen?" I ask, getting to the part I really want to know

"About sixnear the end of sophomore year Junior year I was on the football teae parties There was a lot of drinking, and other…stuff"

"So you and Bethany…did some of that other…stuff?" I say it like him, amused that he can’t just say we had unprotected sex and whoops!

"Yeah, prettyoff a huge win, and Beth and I were doing shots, and ere at ht up in it," he says "About three weeks later, Bethany started throwing up She tried to keep it from me for the first week, I think because she was afraid to find out for sure But I could tell soet so pissed at ot sick in front ofI knew the second she looked at me"

I’h school It’s why I was always in charge, why I was careful about who I gave it up to--why I always have condo and h my mind, albeit briefly, and my sto Leah?" I ask, biting er Houston takes to respond, the worse I feel for asking I’m about to take it back, to tell him it’s none of my business, when he breaks in

"There was," he says finally He doesn’t elaborate, and his tone--it’s flat and emotionless and broken, as if the fact that he ever had that thought at all kills hih, the kind weighed down by a past , cole ad when he said he believed in honesty That right there--that was honest And I think it ht have been a little painful for him to say aloud, too

"How did you lose Bethany?" I ask, after rehearsing this question several different ways in my own mind It’s not like me to be sensitive, but I feel maybe Houston deserves it

"Drunk driver," he says This tie I’ve gotten the sense that Houston’s wife has been gone for a while, but the way he sounds right now…his voice reacting as if it happened yesterday I think of all the times Carson drove home from parties drunk And I think of the times I let him drive me home that way too I’m struck with a sudden sense of fortune

"Leah was aimportant to her Her dad pretty nant--not that he’d been much of a part of her life in the first place," he says, his anger still obvious He slowly lets it go as he continues, as his setting shifts to his world, away fro with my parents My mom and dad were supportive, and my mom alanteda full house I don’t even think shewith Leah those first feeeks"