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"Wow," I say "That’s…sucky That’s just sucky"

It is sucky My MS is sucky The crap deck life deals out randood, it is soooooooo sucky!" Rowe says, her lips cracking a s a little, trying to hold on--taking h at her situation, and how fucked up it is And I want to laugh, too Not at Rowe’s experience, but at h at it because it takes away its power, and it feels good And I’ve never done this

"Riiiiight?" I say back to her, le when I do It’s that crazy, eh that could veer off into a cry at anythis train, and tonight, we er!

We laugh We laugh hard And when , about Rowe’s boyfriend--who is practically in a coma--about her friend who died, and about how shitty it all is Then, for a saze, and she looks atI nod no I don’t want to; I hter instead of sye can play the role of serious

After a fewstarts to fade, and I can tell Rowe feels the sadness of it all sitting on her shoulders again I feel it too

She sits next to e that she shared with e always does, she listens--she listens well And she sys that I know are probably e

She o back to laughing--as insane as it was It feels better And I want to go back to laughing too

Paige’s sy, she finds a way to bring the spotlight back where it belongs--on her She’s , and as predicted, I’ withoutdeep inside I love ht I’d ," she says, always slipping right into her natural supervisory role, doling out orders

"I’ her speech short when she realizes what she said There’s a brief aard silence, but it passes quickly, and Paige thanks her for asking hi, I think partly trying to end her conversation with h note

"Cass, perhaps you can help s?" , still a little lost in the realization that I will be without Paige soon, so I nod in her direction "And we’re going to need to shave your head"

"Yeah, sure Whatever you need," I say

"Seriously, what’s with you? Did you even hear ht suddenly next toher face into focus Rowe is reading her textbook, her ear buds deep in her ears She listens to herout for the soccer teae to suddenly bringMaybe I’ out Maybe I’ I think, maybe, all of those statements hit thee about soccer than talk to her about Ty So, that’s what ca out of my mouth

"You can’t," she says, just like I knew she would Her ar ness pisses h ht The closet also puts us a few steps farther away fro …"

"You’ve been…training?" I hate this tone she has She gets it frohteous I ae is Moe and Morace, e out of the worst of h school Otherwise, she’d probably serve htly lectures--and she sure as hell would have more questions about, and snarky remarks for, Ty