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I’ve thought those words a few times, but usually they’re future tense--as in "I think I could love her," or "I ht love Rowe one day" But that’s a bloody lie I love her I love her right now I loved her when I read her words to Josh, and I hoped for everything she said because I’m a selfish bastard ants her all to myself I loved her when she bustedher parents I loved her when I held her in oddaht nohen I’ her away I need to fix this

"I uh…I meant that, like, you know…rhetorically," I say I’ht word I check to see if she’s still looking at aze to her lap, where she’s picking at the edges of her fingers

"Yeah, Nate No…it’s…it’s no big deal I got that," she says,her face to look out her"I know you didn’ther now makes me wish like hell I didn’t take it back

Chapter 19

Rowe

After Nate took back what he said, I beca Cass and Ty I was a little hurt at first that I had to find out about their fight fro to just be a nothing thing that would blow over Unfortunately, when she went to talk to Ty about it a few hours later, he told her he thought they should take a breather, andtoo serious

It wasn’t even my relationship--I wasn’t even sure if what I was in was a relationship But the thought of running away for fear of being too seriousinside me snap Cass and Ty had to try, because hoas I supposed to navigate being with sos out?

"Girl, this better work," Paige says as she walks byfilled ay too ht two of her new sorority sisters with her, whichhiain

"Seriously, they can’t tell anyone about this And no e just winks at ainst her body

Nate and Ty are waiting for us downstairs, and we all start walking across the street Just as I planned, Nate dials my phone from his pocket a few seconds into our walk, and I pretend it’s

"Yeah, I filled that out No, I pro a conversation about financial forms with my mother Nate reaches into his pocket to end the call, but I keep the phone to uys I’ll just meet you there in like fiveforback inside quickly I hear Ty offer to wait for ht in and throws her pretend tantrum--which is so accurate to her real tantru around ca of alcohol I look back once I ain

Cass got a different version of the story I knew she would be working out tonight, so I told her I would just wait for her to coether And somehow, all of my doht on schedule

Her shower is fast--another trait opposite of her sister--and we’re walking over to the field maybe twenty minutes behind everyone else I text Nate to let hiet to the outfield gate

Ty is three shots in You better hurry!

I et deep into the outfield before she notices Ty, but she freezes as soon as she does

"Oh fk no," Ty says, tossing whatever was left in the cup in his hand into the grass

"Rowe, did you knoas going to be here?" Cass looks heartbroken, and I feel sick I shrug and start rethinking any good idea I ever thought I had When Cass turns away and starts to leave, I grab her hand and I pull her close to ht in the eyes

"No, Cass iscontest I have no intention of losing And I don’t

"Fine, whatever," Ty says, turning toward Nate to talk privately