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"It was" He lifted his hand, carefully swiping away a tear "Ito tell you" He leaned in so close I could alainst my mouth, his breath hot "You’ve ruined ht?"

My heart was pounding again, but this tiood thing"

He rested his forehead against ood thing"

"You really want to do this?" I asked

Tanner stared intoout from behind the trees, and I wouldn’t look away from those beautiful, brilliant blue eyes

"I love you, Andrea I’ to be right here with you, through all of it That’s what lovehtest touch, but I felt it all the way throughevery cell with its warmth, and I made sure when he stared into my eyes, all he saas happiness "I love you, Tanner I love you," I said "Do you see it?"

Tanner h me His hands trembled as he said, "I see it I see the happiness"

Hope that had sparked init to burn hot and bright, because hope… hope was not the eneinning Hope was toet better, that I would undo the bad choices that I’d ain Hope was more than a chance of rede absolution, of forgiving myself

But it was more than that Hope was also today, and today was so very ih seconds andto live, and it was going to be hard at ti would feel dull and tarnished soe to face as causing me to suffer I had my friends I had Tanner

And most importantly, I had myself

Two rinned as I glanced over to where Tanner stood in the doorway of ers and drop them in the little jewelry box on my dresser "I think they like you too"

He folded his ar the plain white T-shirt he’d worn under the button-down His dress shirt had co over the back of a chair "Everyone likes , I rolled my eyes, but truthfully, the fact iddy with relief I’d held off on for until now, a few days before Christs were off, I kicked off my heels and h, they really do like you I think Mo adopted by rich doctors, except that would s a bit aard between you and me"

"Just a little" I walked toward hi as he pushed off the doorfraging hiainst his chest

One of his hands curved around the back of my head and the other landed on the small of my back He didn’t speak as we held each other, and that was okay I was…content with the quietto his heart beat steadily

It was peaceful

The last couple of months had been a mixture of failure and triuated ether It hadn’t been all easy There had been ti ht about Tanner leaving for the acade consequences of ive ested that I take so at the hotline and the hospitals The ad it would be best forthey weren’t confident I could handle the pressure, and I understood that As much as it sucked, I really did understand And I also understood that while the depression wasn’t my fault, the way I had coped with it had been a terrible decision, and I was going to have to prove that I was capable of handling -ter a DUI on my record wouldto living without a spleen I still dealt with the guilt overthe assload of fines associated with my DUI and the lawyer fees that had enabled me to avoid jail time I’d been lucky, with no previous record, and the fact that I had willingly entered rehab and had stayed beyond the required minimum had helped

But some days it was hard to look in the mirror, and every so often, I wondered how Dave did it every day

Over the last couple of months there had been tito hurt me But I’d been able to catchBecause one beer would hurt h I wouldn’t stop after it touched reat for common sense to make a difference, I had my friends I had Tanner