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I left

Juliet pulls off the road and parks at the lookout point at the top of the cliffs It’s ee, and a picnic bench for su out of the windshield

"It’s a nice day" I try to sound cheerful I look around at the wisps of cotton-wool clouds in the blue sky, and the green of the trees fringing the park "Moivesabout what Mom liked She reaches into the backseat and picks up a bunch of flowers I didn’t notice before

"Lilacs," I realize "Her favorite"

"I get them every year," Juliet replies in a quiet voice "Even when I didn’t coot a bunch for her Daffodils, too"

I feel a sting in the back ofroo all year around"

Juliet"I rehed so hard she switched to blue instead"

Her words hit ut I openaway frouilt crash over me like a tidal wave How can I possibly explain the way I acted, or even hope toI’ve done?

I watch Juliet’s silhouette as she reaches the platform marker at the lookout point From there, I know, she has the perfect view of the whole bay: Beachwood and the shoreline curving around beyond the old lighthouse to the country beyond The i about that day is The dress I wore, black and stiff, the label itching at the back of ood dress, expensive and flattering, but I threw it out the ing inwe lost that day

I steelover to meet Juliet The day we scattered Mo doith rain at the end of sulad for the terrible weather, it made it easier somehow: summer was over, and so too was that part of my life My childhood, my innocence I watched the dust of her dance on the wind, whipping and whistling, disappearing into the stormy blue of the ocean below Gone forever, before her ti under her breath when I reach her She straightens up, falling silent as I approach She looks so s the flowers, her jaw set in a brave expression I feel an overwhel her close to me, but when I take another step towards her, Juliet flinches back

I stop Silence Juliet looks out across the water, her eyes filling with tears

"I can’t believe it’s nearly five years," I say quietly "Soet a call on a Sundayit’s her She used to call, when I was in college Like clockwork, every week"

Now I feel the swell of tears, hot in the corners of my eyes

Juliet turns to me "Don’t do that," she says, her voice harsh

"Do what?"

"Pretend like you"You never even cared when she was around"