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I take it, still confused There’s a letter folded up inside, and Emerson’s name is written in cursive on the front I stuff it quickly under et to it "What is this?"

"Read it" Brit tells me "I don’t knohy the stupid jackass didn’t tell you himself, but…" She shakes her head "It doesn’t matter It’s too late for that"

I stare du ives me a sharp look "I love my brother more" she says fiercely "And for some reason, he chose you, no matter what he tries to tell himself"

She turns and stalks away

I hurry back into the safe dryness of the car, still confused I pull the letter back out, turning it over inup E, better than anything

It’s h Cedar Cove, out to the cliffs that curve around the far side of the bay Rain lashes atoutside, but every five seconds, I can’t help glancing over to the passenger seat, where the envelope sits beside me The white square of paper is yellowed and cru-buried secrets it contains

I grip the steering wheel so tight h the rain until I reach the bluffs I park at the lookout point, safely back fro the sea churn and froth in the storm while I huddle here inside

This is where we scattered my mom’s ashes

It was a day like this one: cloudy and cold, but I didn’t feel the bite of the wind as we stood there

I couldn’t feel anything at all

Mom had said in her will, she didn’t want to be buried She liked the idea of going back into the earth, in a way: becoain I thought it would be healing somehow, to see the cycle of life revolve Ashes to ashes, dust to dust But when Dad emptied out the urn, it didn’t seem real to me: that my flesh-and-blood mother could be reduced to a couple of handfuls of dirt I watched the ashes dance and skip in the wind for a one

Except, now I have soain Thise of the paper By the end of that su all the time I was so head-over-heels in love with E as I would be with him I was ready to tear up all ether, building a life on our own We would figure it out, to hell hatwithon hi to change We spent soat each other, my heart aches to think of it now