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No, I realize with a sinking heart that Daniel would never understand He could never ile touch, or just the look of passion in a man’s eyes He’d think I chose this: that I set out to cheat, and hurt him, with a clear mind Like it was ever a conscious decision to fall into Emerson’s embrace
So that’s it then, I realize, as the city co Daniel isn’t worth it just to absolve uilt Not when this is a one-tiain It’s a burden I’ll bear alone My future is here with Daniel Cedar Cove and Emerson are all in my past
They have to be
I park on the street and let myself up to Lacey and hborhood, and when I walk in the front door, I find that Lacey has left the place in a messy ind: dirty dishes in the sink and textbooks abandoned in a study nook on the floor
I head to the bathroo offunder the jets of water as if I can blast all memories of Cedar Cove off ainst the tile, letting the hot water beat away at my body It’s been over twelve hours since E over me, but I can still feel the ih …
No I scold myself There’s no room for that in my mind, not now I’ether is if I scrub hi sha briskly at every inch of flesh with a loofah until ain
In my room, I dry off, and lay out a new outfit A preppy pencil skirt and silk blouse--aI’d wear at the beach I blow-dry my hair into a neat cascade, apply old and sapphire studs that Daniel gave ain: cool, collected
Back in control
I drive over to the college campus, and head to the law library Daniel will have spent thein study sessions, but he takes a break for lunch around this time every day I settle in to wait on one of the benches outside the library entrance, but it’s only a fewtired and distracted
"Hey, babe!" I wave hiht ofhere?" He sweeps"You said you’d be all week"
"I know," I hug hiainst mine Safe Secure "But I missed you And, I need to check in with one of my professors about review notes," I add, to cover forback today?" Daniel asks, looking down at me His brown hair is cut neatly in a stylish cut, and even on a study day--when the rest of his classedy jeans--he’s cleanly-shaven and dressed in a button-down Oxford shirt and preppy pants
I breathe him in, the familiar clean scent of citrus and aftershave, and just like that, Cedar Cove recedes way to the back ofto tell hi at all I’d have to be crazy to fk things up with a ood man who loves me--not the bastard who brokedown at me He releasesback? Hey, are you OK?" He looks at me quizzically
"Fine!" I answer quickly "Just, tired, froo back It’s soservice in," I add, "The realtor said she knew soht you wanted the ti I don’t need to ask where we’re going: he always takes his lunch break at a sandwich shop down the street Roast turkey on wholegrain, mustard, no pickle "You said it’d be easier to focus out there, with no distractions"
Focus? Ha There’s no way I’ any study done in that house, not with Eainst the porch door
"I don’t know," I give a vague shrug "That house… there are too many ives my hand a sympathetic squeeze "Whatever you want, babe Maybe you should wait until after finals," he suggests, sounding enthusiastic "Then we could both go down together Take a couple of weeks, have a real vacation Pack up while we’re there"
My blood freezes Daniel and Emerson in the same five mile radius? Hell no!
"No!" I yelp "I mean, dad wants to sell now Like, in the next month It’s sweet of you to offer," I tell hiure it out"
"Sure you will" Daniel smiles at me "Hey, that reminds me Your sister invited us to dinner with her and Alexander tonight I said you were out of town, but I’ll let her knoe can h to make me tense "Dinner? Really? I kind of just wanted to chill with you tonight"