Page 9 (1/2)

Jazz did not like facing out into the street She felt ex-posed There were eyes upon her, and she expected an Uncle to eut They'd go for Cadge too, of course, and drag hi she'd see would be the Uncle's face pressed up close to hers, the last thing she'd sarlic breath, and he'd pant in excitement as her blood pulsed over his hand

Her murder would be quick and quiet, a brief distur-bance in a street filled with everyonetheir own business London was like that So ether, and the more people there were, the more alone she felt Nobody seemed to pay attention to anyone out here If the street was virtually deserted, passersby would nod a brief hello, ive a smile, and if there was only her and someone else, they'd pause for a chat But in crowds like this, everyone kept to themselves The more people there were, the less human they seemed to be

So she looked in shop s and studied the reflec-tions of the street behind her Cadge nattered on, pointing out things in thedisplays --CDs here, clothes there, books and shoes and sexy lingerie--but Jazz's eyes were al-ways searching beyond these things Was that aat her back from across the road? She shifted sideways, and no, it was just the shadow thrown by a slowly closing coffee-shop door They walked to another shop, and Jazz looked past the display of hats and handbags at the reflection of a ehere, and Jazz lowered her head and looked at the reflection Still notacross the road, his i street e to turn was impossible to resist But the man was only a mannequin placed on the paveer pointing at her accusingly In its blank pink face she saw a hundred expressions she did not like

So

Windows lined the buildings above her, any one of theet a drink," she said "Got half an hour yet"

"Sure!" He grabbed her hand and headed for a newsagent's stall, but she held back and nodded across the street

"Coffee," she said "Sorave for a second, then sed traffic across the street, he held her around the waist and leaned in close "It was like this for me the first few times back up,"

he said

"Like what?" Jazz asked They reached the paveotiated the equally busy streae looked up at the ribbon of gray sky between rooftops "Too exposed"

She felt a rush of affection for Cadge then, and she opened the coffee-shop door and motioned him in first

Harry always sent thee a milk shake, and they drank thee?" she asked "I feel so self-ish Things are bad for me, but I've never asked about you or any of the others, and that's bad too"

"Don't feel guilty," he said over the top of his glass, and she sensed a e He suddenly ree "My story ain't too much fun to tell either"

Jazz sipped her coffee and glanced around the busy cof-fee shop Everyone in their oorld, nobody looking at thelanced at her watch "We've got tih his straw, then licked his lips "To be honest, it sounds like a really bad soap 'Cept it ain't It was real lives ruined, and no one to watch but me See I came home fro it" Thought they hadn't heard ht me Gave me the beatin' of me life

Never was one to hold back with his fists, my dad So he beat me, and my auntie came downstairs without clothes on, tried to stop 'im, and he hit her too Just smacked her one in the eye and she fell down, all naked and that Mum came home later --she'd already heard what had 'ap-pened fro, shouting ainst ht he'd hit her too, but he didn't, and then she ran away

Justleft" He shook his head, looking down at the scarred ti for clues to his mother's whereabouts in the scratched names

"What about your dad?"

"Kicked me out Said he'd never wanted me, I'd ruined his life, and toldhell, Cadge"

He grinned "Told you Not s of his drink, and a few eyes turned their way

"Just fucked-up adults, Cadge, that's all They didn't mean it, I'm sure"

"Maybe not Mum," he said "Maybe not her" He seemed to drift away for a time Jazz let him She finished her drink and scanned the street outside Tourists, office workers --she could tell the out people who'd have fat wallets She see lark Her mum had always told her to be observant, cautious, secre-tive

She gasped and closed her eyes, catching a whiff of perfuhtmares and she's there forhoives me a kiss, and I can always sense her re-lief that I' her staring into theboth contented and sad

"What is it?" Cadge asked His hand closed around her upper arm, warm and protective

Jazz opened her eyes "Beautiful," she said "Perfulanced around and saw a tall, s down at a table Perhaps she had a daughter too, and perhaps her daughter would not appreci-ate her fully until she was gone

"Beautiful," Cadge said "That's so to hold on to, Jazz"

She nodded "It is Coo"

"Yeah" He slipped froave him a brief squeeze He beamed "Yeah! This'll be fun"

They exited the shop and turned left, and the crush of pedestrians forced Cadge to let go of her hand

Jazz weaved through the people, head down but eyes always looking for-ward

The chemist was on a corner at the T-junction of two streets A pub took up the opposite corner, one of those old London boozers with leaded stained-glass s and his-tory oozing frolazed brick There was not quite so much bustle here, and a woman smiled thinly at Jazz as she walked by What does she see? Jazz thought She'd coy T-shirt, and a denim jacket, the clothes worn but not tatty Why did she se frowned a question

"Nothing," Jazz said

"Calo Take it easy This is what I'e took charge He glanced at his watch, listened for the sound he aiting for --raised voices--and then walked past Jazz and approached the shop

Ti was crucial, and Jazz marveled at how perfectly it flowed

Hattie ran fros behind her: toothpaste, throat lozenges, corn plasters, and sun creaht across the road and pelted down the street, waving a bag over her head

A ry roar, and then Stevie Sharpe leaped fro around for a few seconds, eyes ski on His long hair swung as he spun around and saw Hattie disappearing along the street

Athe white coat of a pharht He should have run faster, shouldn't have looked around for us, shouldn't have looked at